Page 55 of Keepsake
“Still.”
We stared at each other for one long beat. Then he took a step closer and I grabbed him into a hug. A tight one. He was so warm and steady against me that I inhaled like someone surfacing again after being underwater for too long. He kissed my hair and sighed. “Fifteen more minutes.”
“I lean on you too much,” I whispered. While leaning on him.
“Too much for what?” He gave me one more squeeze and then walked away.
For once Ididn’t even try to do my share while Zach loaded the truck. I counted the cash box he brought me, and then I waited with it on the passenger’s seat. I drank a lot of water and tried to forget how shaky I’d felt before.
At last we were rolling toward home. I put on the Chili Peppers, of course. I needed their positive mojo to get the darkness out of my head.
“You want to tell me what happened back there?” Zach asked when we were on the highway.
“It was hot.”
He gave me a pointed side-eye before returning his gaze to the road.
“I freaked out a little.”
“Because we couldn’t find Maeve?”
“Yeah. It was like…” I scrambled for words to define something I try never to think about. “A trigger, I guess.” The shadows were always right there, waiting in the wings of my consciousness. A pair of hands coming out of nowhere. The scream I’d managed to let out. But then nobody came.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
“Please don’t bother the Shipleys about it,” I begged. I hadn’t bailed on my own family only to trouble someone else’s.
“I told you I wouldn’t. But I sure hope it doesn’t happen again.”
You and me both. “You know, Griff was always the one bailing May and I out in college,” I admitted. “He’s the one we turned to when things went wrong.”
“Yeah?” He was quiet for a second. “Did you ever date him?”
“No way!” What a crazy idea. “I’m not attracted to Griff, but I loved all the Shipleys as soon as I met them. I’m an only child, and I have always envied May her big family. And Griff was still at BU when we were freshmen. We used to call him up all the time those first two years. If we were too drunk to drive, we called Griffin instead of a cab. When we ran out of gas, or got a flat, we called him.”
“Sounds like a pretty sweet deal.”
“It was. I liked the way he was always there for us, but without judgment, you know?”
“He never gave you any crap for getting stranded without gas?Thatdoesn’t sound like Griffin.”
“Oh sure! He gave us hell all the time. ‘How could you need a jump right in the middle of Monday night football? Now who owes me a batch of cookies?’ But there was no real guilt attached to it, there weren’t any speeches about how we let him down. My parents always take my antics personally.”
“That’s harsh. Except at least you know they cared.”
And that’s when I realized what a spoiled brat I sounded like. Zach didn’t have two independently wealthy parents sitting in a Boston home, praying for his continued survival. So what if my parents’ overbearing nature had fed my antics as a teenager? At the end of the night, no matter how many times I’d snuck out of my bedroom window to break curfew, I’d always known they were there, hoping for my return.
“Anyway. Griff has always been good to me. But I don’t want to be his problem this fall.”
He reached a hand over and squeezed my forearm. “Who’s problem do you want to be, then?”
Right. “I seem to be yours, I guess. I’m sorry.”
His hand plucked mine off the seat and gave it a squeeze. “You can be my problem any time.”
I interlaced my fingers with his, feeling a little guilty about the rush of love I felt for Zach. He was bright and shiny and flawless. And I wasn’t any of those things.
“So how about this weather?” Zach said, lowering his window as far as it would go. “I just don’t understand how anyone could doubt global warming is real.”
