Page 69 of Keepsake
“You bitch.” May’s face grew confused. “So…”
I watched the synapses fire behind her eyes as she did the math. She grabbed my wrist and squeezed. “Are youkiddingme? You fooled around with Zach?”
I nodded.
“Oh. My. God!” May held a hand over her mouth. Then she dropped it and asked, “Did you…deflowerhim?”
Ugh. “Hello, this is 1865 calling. They want their word back. And besides—virginity is just a construct invented by men to subjugate women.”
But she wasn’t finished being shocked. “I had no idea you liked him that way.”
“Well…” The shock on her face put me a little off kilter. “It sort of snuck up on us.”
She blinked at me for a long moment. “Daphne will die of jealousy.”
“Don’t tell her,” I yelped. “Jeez. Besides…” I shrugged. “I don’t know if it was just a one-time thing.”
“What does Zach think?”
“I don’t know! What if you gave us a minute to process it? You told me Zach holds his cards close to his vest. It just happened, okay? I didn’t know you’d freak.”
My best friend looked away. “I’m not freaking. Just surprised, that’s all.”
A prickle of unease crawled up my neck. Was she jealous? That seemed unlikely. May never mentioned Zach. “Do you think I’m not good enough for him?”
“Don’t put words in my mouth!” She finally met my gaze. “I do know this—you’ll go back to Boston in a few weeks, back to your job. And he’ll still be here. I just hope that’s okay with him. Just treat him carefully, okay? He is really special. And he doesn’t have much experience with loving anyone.”
This entire conversation had given me a blood pressure spike. IknewZach was special. Nobody knew it better than I did. And May made me sound aloof. Like I’d waltz back to Beacon Hill and forget this summer ever happened.
I wasneverforgetting this summer. Or this spring. Or any other damn thing, apparently.
May was watching me now, a look of concern on her face. “I really didn’t mean for that to sound harsh. There’s nobody better than you, Lark. But you’re worldly and always on the move. And Zach isn’t. I just don’t want to see either of my friends get hurt.”
I took a deep breath and let it out, trying to expel my anger. If May had a real glimpse at the tangled jungle of my emotions, she wouldn’t describe me that way. I didn’t feel worldly or daring anymore. I just felt tired. And scared out of my mind all the time.
May didn’t know that, though, because I was such a shitty friend I’d never said so.
“I know Zach is special,” I said quietly. “Neither of us meant to start something. But we’ve spent a lot of time together, and he’s completely irresistible to me.”
May smiled, and she seemed to recover her usual humor. “He’ssohandsome. And he doesn’t know it, either. Which sort of doubles his appeal, right?”
I made a noise of agreement, just picturing him hovering over me in bed. “When he takes his clothes off, it doubles again. I probably have a sunburn from all the hotness that is Zachariah.”
May grabbed a glass of water off the counter and pretended to douse herself with it.
“Oh, stop.”
She grinned, putting down the water. “I would just like to point out that you have all the sex in this friendship. It’s always been true.”
“Not all of it. You had a smoking-hot boyfriend our junior year.”
Her face seemed to close up at the mention of James, who I’d never liked. But he had been a looker. “Pretty long dry spell lately,” she said with a sigh. “But I guess it’s my own fault. I haven’t exactly put myself out there lately. I wanted to settle a little first. Make my peace with my drinking problem.”
“But that’s going well, right?” I asked. I still hadn’t figured out how to talk to May about it. And she didn’t ever volunteer anything. Talk about holding your cards.
“Yeah,” she said, closing the last of the cupboards overhead. “I have to leave now for a ten o’clock lecture. See you tonight?”
“Of course.”
