Page 91 of Keepsake
“But don’t tell me you’re not afraid of being alone. We all are. It’s fucking terrifying. I hope you don’t lose Lark for good, man. That would blow. But you’ll still have the rest of us to kick around, no matter what.”
And then his cell phone rang. He gave me one more piercing Griffin stare, then pulled it out and answered. “Hey, Isaac. What’s up?” I heard him laugh. “Yeah, one more week until my princess comes back.”
He walked away, leaving me standing there with an ax, a fallen tree, and my jaw hanging open in surprise.
26
Lark
Night fellwhile I made my plans to leave Vermont. I called my parents and told them I was coming home, possibly tomorrow. They made all the right noises, then asked me what I was going to do about my job.
I told them I didn’t know.
Next, I cleaned the room where I’d stayed all fall. Then I cleaned the bathroom I’d shared with several men. I threw away the little sign inside the plastic bag in the shower stall.Warning: these are girlie-scented products. Use them and you’ll never hook up again. I packed away my pink razor.
When I was done, the room was a man’s domain again, with nothing but their giant bottle of bargain shampoo and the straight razor Kyle used for shaving, because he thought it was macho.
My preparations were done, except for one important thing. I still needed to talk to May, but I could do that tomorrow morning.
Griff interrupted my preparations by knocking on my door. “Wild Child.”
“Yeah?” I called, sounding guilty to my own ears.
“Turns out I need you at the Hanover market tomorrow.”
“Um…” I opened the door. “I was going to head back to Boston.”
“Go on Friday,” he insisted. “Something’s come up at Isaac’s so we’re down a man again. It’s always something around here.”
“All right,” I said slowly. “But—”
He cut me off with a wave of one of his big hands. “Do me this favor?”
“Okay. Sure.” It gave me more chances to talk to May, anyway. I didn’t want to leave here without apologizing to her.
I tried to do that after dinner when we were both putting away the washed and dried dishes. But May waved me off. “I wasn’t kidding before. We’re never having that conversation.”
“But you’re avoiding me,” I pointed out in a whisper. “We’ve never avoided each other before.”
Her eyes closed for a second and then opened again. “Maybe I just need some space.”
Ouch. “I’m going back to Boston in a couple of days.”
Her hands paused on the silverware in the rack. “Okay. Thank you for telling me.”
Her calm response was worse than if she’d just yell at me and tell me I was a shitty friend. I wanted her to tell me the things that best friends confided in each other. I needed to know what had happened in the spring, and if Daphne spoke the truth.
Did I even have a right to ask? I’d been the same kind of shitty friend since I’d stepped onto the property two months ago. I didn’t tell her the scary things in my heart, either.
Claiming homework, May went upstairs as usual. Kyle and Kieran wanted to watch one of the Bourne films, and Zach had disappeared. So I watched half of an action movie with Kyle and Kieran, then slipped out to head for bed alone.
I still didn’t love walking through the moonless night to the bunkhouse by myself, but I did it. The place was quiet when I ducked inside. I stood there a moment, staring at the closed door to the mens’ bunkroom, wishing I could see Zach’s face.
Please be okay, I begged from the hallway outside my room. But I’d already forfeited the right to ask if he was.
Tiptoeing about, I got ready for bed. Sleep would not come easily, not with Zach just ten paces away. I closed my eyes and imagined his warm body curled beside mine. If I’d met him at a different time in my life, he might be lying beside me right now.
If only.
