Page 11 of Goodbye Paradise
But then the bastard put something cold and wet on my forehead. “No,” I argued, pushing it off.
“But I don’t know what todo,” he whispered. “I don’t know how to help you. Don’t you dare die, or I’ll kill you myself.”
I tried to decide whether that made any sense, and came to no conclusions. And then that cold thing hit my head again, and I gave a holler of protest.
“Sorry, baby,” he whispered. “So sorry.”
“Cold,” I complained. “Please.” I was begging, but I didn’t even know what for. “Please. Please.”
“Okay,” he relented, tossing the cold thing away. “Okay. I’m sorry. I really am. This is all my fault.”
I heard him moving around while I tried not to shake. It came in waves, actually. I could calm my body down for a minute or two. And then I found myself clenched up again and shaking like that old bean separator that I’d loved to watch. I shook and shook.
One more blanket landed on my body. And then the covers shifted, and the most glorious warmth settled at my back. I leaned in, where Caleb’s warm body met mine.Yes. This was heaven. His skin pressed up against mine, his strong arms came around my chest and pulled me in.
I relaxed on a sigh and let sleep take me yet again.
Three
When I woke up, I was in an unfamiliar room, where a set of ugly drapes blocked out most of the light. Slowly, several other facts began to present themselves to my foggy brain.
For one, I was naked in bed. Secondly, I was naked in bed with a very naked Caleb. And furthermore, his morning erection was poking me in the ass.
It was a scenario I’d been dreaming about all my life. But poor Caleb! He would be mortified.
Assorted memories of the night before were swirling through my sluggish head like a broken kaleidoscope. I remembered the shaking and some of the worried things he’d said. The bus station. The cold outdoors.
He’d been trying to keep me warm.I’m so sorry, he’d said.
It was a lot to take in. But it wouldn’t be right to lie there with him any longer, now that I wasn’t delirious.
Slowly, I slipped from his arms and out of the bed. Toward the back of the dim little room I spied a bathroom, and I headed for it. When I flipped the switch inside, the light came on, revealing all of my clothing and Caleb’s, hanging from the shower bar.
When I touched these things, they were mostly dry. But not quite.
I pulled down the clothes and carried them out into the bedroom, where I laid them quietly on the heater under the window.
Caleb did not wake, or else he pretended not to.
I snuck back into the bathroom and turned on the shower, which rained down with a pleasant force.
At the Compound, there was never enough hot water for more than a quick shower. But now I washed my hair and body with a little bottle of shampoo I found in the hotel’s shower stall, while the hot water came pouring down on me. After I was finished, I lingered awhile, basking in it. Because there was nobody to yell at me to get moving.
Then, feeling more refreshed than I had in a long time, I toweled off, listening to my stomach growl. There was a big mirror over the sink, which I found fascinating. We didn’t have mirrors at the Compound, except for tiny ones in the shower, meant for shaving. Because vanity is a sin.
Except for the occasional reflection off of a window, I hadn’t seen myself properly in years. I thought of myself as a scrawny thing. So I was surprised to find that my shoulders were much broader than they used to be. I looked stronger and more solid than I’d thought.
My face wasn’t the same as I remembered, either. I saw a squarer jaw then I used to have, and my hair was bleached out from the summer’s sunshine.Not half bad, I realized.
Standing there, I looked a long time at myself. Which was precisely why there were no mirrors in Paradise.
Wearing a towel, I tiptoed back in the room, testing the seams of my clothing again.
“They’re not dry, I’ll bet,” Caleb said sleepily.
“Not quite,” I said, keeping my voice low, though there was nobody else here to eavesdrop on us. I wasn’t used to being alone with Caleb. It seemed impossibly luxurious. Even better than a long shower.
If I’d thought he would be embarrassed to wake up in that bed with me, I’d thought wrong. He raised his arms up over his head, which made more of his fine chest visible, and smiled at me. “Happy to see you on your feet. Come here.” He patted the empty bed beside him.
