Page 12 of Goodbye Paradise
Feeling self-conscious, I padded over there and perched on the edge.
Caleb sat up, and I put all my focus on keeping my eyes where they should be, and not letting them wander down his bare chest. Ever since we were fifteen, and he began to fill out, the ridges and valleys of his abs have fascinated me. I’ve had to be very disciplined with myself, or I’d always be staring at them.
He reached up and put a palm on my forehead. “Well, you just got out of the shower, which should heat you up. But I think…” he leaned in and pressed his lips to my forehead, the way my mother used to check for fever when I was small.
All my blood stopped circulating.
“Hmm,” he said, backing off a few inches. “You kicked it, didn’t you? The fever broke?”
But speaking now would have been impossible. Because I was just too aware of his body, and the way his pecs had brushed mine when he’d (sort of) kissed me. So a shrug was all I could manage.
“We have to wait for our clothes to dry. Yours were coated in dirt,” he said, grabbing his pillow and punching it against the headboard. He sat back. “Bring that knapsack over here, would you? I have a little food.”
I shot up and practically sprinted across the room, needing a little distance. Sure enough, a sporty backpack sat on the floor. “That’s Ezra’s,” I said, whirling around in shock.
Caleb chuckled. “ItwasEzra’s. As were the twenty-dollar bills I found inside it.” Then his smile faded. “I shouldn’t have taken so long at the compound, though. Trying to get supplies slowed me down. And then I had to hide near the gate for hours, because Abloom and Isaac were working on the irrigation line. I didn’t know you’d be lying on theground.” He closed his eyes. “I didn’t know.”
“I’m okay,” I said quickly. I brought him the backpack, then walked around the bed to my side.
“Can you eat? I have Miriam’s corn bread.” He pulled a loaf out of the bag. It was wrapped in wax paper.
I stared at that package. “She gave you the whole thing?”
He gave me a sad nod. “I went to say goodbye to her. It was only fair.”
Wow. I couldn’t imagine what that had been like. Saying goodbye forever to the girl you wanted to marry? “What did she say?”
Caleb blew out an unhappy breath. “She cried. And she said she didn’t blame me.” He shook his head, miserable. “She’s the only thing that could even make me feel bad about leaving.”
“I’ll bet,” I said. “You’re in love with her.”
Caleb tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling. “Is that what you think?”
“Well… yeah.”Wasn’t he?
“Never was,” he said, his voice flat. “But I wanted people to think so.”
“Why?”
He brought both hands up, draping them over his head. “If you don’t know, I’ll tell you sometime.”
Okayyy. It wasn’t like Caleb to be mysterious. But I didn’t press him. “Can we eat cornbread now?”
With a sad grin, he said, “sure.”
Four
“CHECK-OUT TIMEIS eleven o’clock,” Caleb said, stepping into his jeans. “And we can’t afford to stay another night. We couldn’t really afford last night, either. But it was an emergency.”
“How much did it cost?”
“Forty dollars. Which means I have about sixty left.”
“I have fifty,” I volunteered.
“I know. I found it in your filthy pants. Your money’s in the knapsack now. Where’d you get fifty bucks?”
“They gave it to me. Told me to get on a bus and don’t come back.”
