Page 54 of Goodbye Paradise
Josh set down his chipped blue mug and marched upstairs, returning a moment later with the fussy baby on his shoulder. At three weeks old, her face was beginning to get round, and her eyes were open wide. Even screaming, she was really pretty cute. But who knew such a little person could be so much trouble?
Using his trademarked singing and walking past the windows, he got her calmed down quickly enough. But the look on his face was troubled. “Something’s not right,” he said, pacing into the kitchen again. “Maggie isn’t right.”
“She’s not sleeping,” I argued. “That would make anyone crazy.”
“I know,” Josh sighed. “But even then, you’d smile sometimes, no? And make popcorn, and watch TV? She justsitsup there, Caleb. It’s weird.”
“Shhh,” I said. “She can hear you.”
We were both quiet for a moment, and unfortunately the muffled sound of Maggie’s crying was still audible.
Josh let out a big sigh. Then he marched over to the fridge and yanked the doctor’s phone number out from under its magnets. He slapped the piece of paper onto the counter and then reached for the phone.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m telling her doctor that I think something’s wrong,” he said, dialing with the hand that wasn’t needed to support the baby.
“She wouldn’t want you to do that,” I argued.
“Don’t care,” Josh said, lifting the phone to his ear. “If she’s fine, the doctor will tell me to mind my own business, right?” He waited, a concerned frown on his face, until someone picked up. “Hi. I’m Maggie Beaufort’s cousin. She had a baby three weeks ago, and I’m very worried about her. She cries all the time and she won’t eat much. Sure, I’ll hold.”
I expected the doctor’s office to laugh Josh off the phone. But that’s not at all what happened. Someone came on the line and listened again to everything Josh had to say, and then asked a whole lot of questions. “Wait, I need to write that down,” Josh said eventually. “Just a second…”
Grabbing the pad we used for grocery lists and a pencil, Josh began to scribble. “Okay. Got it. I’ll make sure she gets there.” On his shoulder, the baby began to fuss again. So I reached over and slid my hands under her little armpits.
Josh passed Chloe to me and went back to his call.
The baby was warm and heavier than I expected against my chest. But, God, how did people do this? I was terrified of dropping her. Not that she was slippery or anything. But I didn’t like being the person responsible for that tiny body and that soft little head.
It took Josh maybe two more minutes to finish up his conversation, and they could not pass fast enough.
Finally, he hung up the phone, turning to me with victory on his face. “There’s a thing called postpartum depression,” he said. “And the doctor thinks that Maggie has it. Apparently, after you have a baby, a bunch of your hormones levels can crash. It kills your will to live. The doctor said it can be mild or serious. But it’s a real thing.”
“Oh.” That sounded plausible. Because something about Maggie had surely crashed. “So… what do we do?”
Josh smacked the notepad with his hand, and then reached for Chloe. (Thankfully.) “The doctor wants to see Maggie at noon. That’s in one hour. Will you drive her?”
“Well…” I cleared my throat. “Of course I’ll do it. But we need to tell Daniel. He’ll probably want to take her himself.”
Josh bit his lip, clearly uncomfortable. Until that moment, I don’t think I understood that Josh was afraid of Daniel. “Maybe I should ask Maggie what to do?”
I shook my head. “Maggie is the one who is sick, right? And she doesn’t know why. Daniel needs to know. But I’ll tell him,” I said.
“Really?” Josh squeaked. “I’ll go with you.”
I held up a hand. “I got this.” Without waiting for a response, I went into the mud room and stuffed my feet into my shoes.
Out in the workshop, I found Daniel hand-sanding a long rail, his arm working the sanding block with furious motion. When he saw me, his mouth made a grim line, but he did not stop working. After an awkward minute of this, he stood up straight and tossed the sanding block onto his work table. “Look, I’m sorry,” he said. “I was just frustrated.”
With a shrug, I just took him in. There were dark circles under his eyes. He looked almost worse than Maggie. There were half finished projects around the shop, including a rocking horse I’d never noticed before. It was probably for Chloe. Daniel was probably under a lot of pressure. His carpentry business was supposedly profitable, but not exactly easy. A few weeks ago it was just he and Maggie. And now he was essentially the head of a family of five.
That’s how it must have felt, anyway.
“I didn’t come out here for an apology,” I said quietly. “But Maggie has a doctor’s appointment at noon.”
His chin snapped up. “Really? What for?”
“Well,” I stuck my hands in my pockets. “We called her doctor — the one on the refrigerator. We were worried.” I wasn’t trying to take credit for Josh’s good work. But it was a ballsy thing that Josh had done, and I knew there was some tension over how often Josh took care of the baby. “It turns out that there’s a hormone problem that can make new mothers depressed. And the doctor thinks Maggie has it.”
