Page 61 of Goodbye Paradise
“You’ve been busy. But I don’t want to just sponge off you guys forever.”
Daniel shrugged and went back to shoveling. “I don’t think you’re a sponge. But I understand if you two need to make your own way.”
We did, too.
Caleb was, as always, doing a pretty good job for himself already. The garage was pleased with his work, so his hours remained steady. He spent half his paycheck on gas and groceries for the house. That was the deal he’d made with Maggie. She’d insisted that he save up the other half. “I know you want a car. So bank your money, because one of these days you’ll be able to afford one.”
He’d saved almost two thousand dollars already. It sounded like a lot to me, but apparently cars cost plenty. Even old ones.
I needed to work. That much was obvious.
In January, Daniel and Maggie called the same lawyer in Wyoming who had helped to get her a birth certificate. There was some kind of petition you could file to ask the state to recognize your birth. I signed a form, and we sent it in.
“Mine took months, though,” Maggie said. “So I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting.”
In the meantime, Maggie’s friend with the catering business needed her back at work. And since a family of five needed cash, Maggie sat me down and asked me to babysit while she did some gigs with the caterer. “Obviously Daniel can take her after dinnertime. But sometimes I need to be at work in the afternoon.”
“I’d love to do it,” I said. “It doesn’t make sense for you to work if Daniel has tostopworking.”
She grinned. “So true. Except that I’d probablystillwork, even then. Because I like this job, and I really need to get out of this house once in a while.”
“Go on, then,” I said. While we had this conversation, I was sitting in the rocking chair, holding Chloe, who was chewing on a plastic rattle. The poor thing was teething. And apparently, teething made you drool. Lately, she left little wet patches on the shoulders of all my shirts.
“I’ll pay you,” Maggie said. “It’s only fair.”
“Eh. If you’re paying me, then I should pay you rent. And I can’t afford it.”
Maggie laughed. “But I’d feel guilty just skipping off to make strawberries dipped in chocolate while you watch Chloe.”
I picked my head off the rocker. “Strawberries dipped in chocolate?”
Maggie grinned at me. “That’s it! I’ll pay you in desserts.”
“Deal.” I rocked the baby, feeling as calm and happy as I ever had in my life. Things weren’t perfect, but for the first time in my life I didn’t fear the future. Maggie wanted me here, in this chair, in this room, in this house. As did Caleb, and Chloe, and even Daniel. Hell, even the cows were happy to see me.
When dinnertime came, Daniel came into the house, lightly coated with sawdust. He changed his clothes and then found us in the living room. “My turn,” he said, holding out his hands for Chloe.
“I don’t see your name on the list,” I said lazily. Chloe was a warm weight on my chest, and I didn’t feel like giving her up.
“Pretty sure fathers are always on the list,” he said.
“Well, if you want to get all technical about it.” I handed Chloe up to him, and she started making excited noises. Chloe loved her daddy. When he took her, she put her little starfish hands on his face.
“Hi, baby girl,” he whispered. “What have you been up to today?”
“Drooling on Josh and mommy,” I answered for her. Daniel gave me a grin. Then I got up to go help Maggie set the table.
She’d lit the candles already, and their soft glow flickered on the wood of the table that Daniel had built. The warm lighting, and the sounds of a man saying sweet things to his baby daughter gave me an ache in my chest. Thegoodkind of ache. The kind that means you’re alive and well.
Any minute now, Caleb would drive up in Maggie’s car. He’d shower off the smell of motor oil, then sit across from me at the dinner table. We’d be careful not to let our eyes linger too long on one another, and we’d never risk a touch beneath the table.
This was home, though. And for once in my life, I felt like I belonged.
Seventeen
Dear Washington& Brenda,
Happy New Year (a couple weeks late!)
