Page 73 of Goodbye Paradise
“I just…” Gulping, I tried to find a logical answer. “Um…”
“Got a run in your pantyhose?”
“Uh…” I sobbed. Even if I felt like leveling with him, I probably couldn’t have managed it. Because it wasn’t clear at all to me why I was crying. But my heart had just been ripped from my chest at the idea that two men could survive so much together. And that a sister would stand up in front of hundreds and be so proud to support them.
It was as if the world had suddenly grown into a bigger, brighter place than I’d thought it was.
Not that I was going to try to explain it to a stranger.
Trey put a hand on my back and rubbed, just like Caleb would have done if he was there. “That speech made more than a few people cry, you know. Not every Joey finds his Evan.”
I’d already found mine. I was just terrified of having to choose between him and my home. “You should h…help Maggie,” I stammered. She’s sh…short staffed.”
Trey stood up. “I’ll tell her that you’re feeling a little ill.”
“Thank you.” I took several deep breaths, finally getting myself under control.
About sixty seconds later, Maggie came skidding around the corner. “Josh! There you are. Oh God, honey. I didn’t mean to wreck you.”
“You… what?” I wiped furiously at my cheeks, but my damned eyes just wouldn’t stop leaking.
“I wanted you to meet Trey. And I knew this wedding was really special, so I wanted you to see it. But maybe I overshot a little.”
Pinching the corners of my eyes, I tried to figure out what she was trying to say.
Maggie sat down beside me just where Trey had been, and put a hand on my back. “You know I love you, right?”
Oh boy. More flooding was imminent. “I love you, too. And Chloe. And Daniel.”
“That’s never going to change. And I feel terrible that you’ve worried about what I’ll think of you.”
“D…did Daniel…”tell you?I couldn’t finish the sentence. Even now, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was too afraid to take the last step.
She cleared her throat. “Well. With Miriam coming, I started badgering him about the beds again. I wanted to call the mattress company and order a set of twin mattress sets for your apartment.”
“Oh,” I said. My eyes were still leaking, but somehow I got my breathing under control.
“Yeah. Daniel said, ‘just don’t worry about the freaking beds, okay?’ He just sounded so exasperated. Somehow, that’s what it took. I just understood all of a sudden.” She kept rubbing my back. “I’m sorry I didn’t catch on before.”
Now she was apologizing to me? That made no sense. “No, Maggie. You don’t have to… It’s not your…” I shoved my face in my hands. “I’msorry.Iam.”
Maggie looped her arm around my shoulders. “It’s only been a year, honey. You spent a long time listening to all the hateful things they say at the Compound. I can only imagine what you’d hear there…” she cleared her throat. “It’s still echoing in your head, I’ll bet. I forget sometimes how recent that was. One of the reasons I loved Daniel pretty much immediately was because he is so free of that kind of thinking. I got raped, Josh.”
What?I stopped hiding my face and turned to Maggie. “You… when?”
“Right after I ran away from Archer. I left the compound, and I was homeless. And a man offered to drive me to California, so I got in his car and…” Now Maggie’s eyes were leaking. “It was bad, and I was such a mess afterward. I felt really guilty and used up. First a teenage bride to a mean old man, then a stupid girl who got into a stranger’s car.” She shook her head. “I felt dirty and horrible. But that’s not what Daniel sees when he looks at me.”
“Of course it’s not,” I said, grabbing her into a hug.
She smiled at me through her tears. “See? I know you went through hell, too.”
“Not like that,” I said quickly.
She shook her head. “The hell inhere.” She tapped my forehead with one soft finger. “But we don’t think like that, Daniel and I. We love you and Caleb. And if you love each other, that’s really great, Josh. It makes youlucky.”
Oh, boy. I was probably going to float away on my tears. “Iamlucky.”
“I know. And I want you to be able to feel that way without worrying, okay? That’s why I brought you here tonight. I’ve known Trey a while now. He doesn’t apologize for himself. And the men who got married tonight — they sure don’t.”
