Page 98 of Goodbye Paradise
“What?” I asked.
He sunk a combination shot before answering me. “It turns out you can get a degree in how stuff should work on a farm.”
“Cool. Really?”
“Really. I’ve been reading up.”
So I made a mental note to figure out how to pay for some college classes for Josh. I wanted that for him. In fact, the best revenge I could think of against the Compound was for Josh to earn a college degree and make a better living than any of the assholes who used to rule over us.
The night before our wedding, I wasn’t thinking about revenge, though. It was quiet in the living room, after Maggie, Daniel and Miriam had gone to bed. We sat at opposite ends of the sofa, our legs tangled up in the middle. I was trying to wrap my head around what was happening tomorrow.
We were having awedding, of all things. Back when we still lived on the Compound, even in my wildest fantasies there was no wedding for Josh and I. At best, I’d imagined us living together somewhere as closeted “roommates.” But even that had seemed like a pipe dream most of the time.
It’s really quite shocking to get what your heart desires.
At the other end of the sofa, Josh adjusted Miriam’s nine-week-old baby girl, who wiggled against his chest.
Wilhelmina (or “Willy” for short) was a bit of a night owl. She hadn’t learned to sleep through the night, yet. So Josh was doing a favor for Miriam by sitting up with her. In a half hour or so he would give Willy a final bottle, then sneak her into the crib in Miriam’s room. This afforded the new mommy an extra two hours sleep that she would not otherwise get.
Naturally, I kept sneaking looks at Josh. The TV movie we were watching simply could not compete. My gaze lingered over his square shoulders, and the little V of skin above the buttons of his flannel shirt. I wanted to unbutton it a little further, and then put my lips right there.
“What?” he asked me finally, after he’d caught me staring for the third time.
“Nothing. I just like you.”
He grunted, giving Willy a pacifier to chew on. The baby took it, her big eyes trained upward on his face. The babies of Runaway Dairy saw a lot of that view — Josh’s strong jaw, and peaceful blue eyes.
“Josh?” I asked suddenly.
“Yeah?”
“Are you going to want kids someday?”
He looked at me with genuine surprise. “What do you mean? I’m up to my ears in kids.”
It was true, too. Maggie’s belly got bigger each and every day. One day I’d heard Josh and Maggie doing the math on how many continuous months of diaper-wearing the family would tally up before it was through. It was not a small number.
“I mean kids of our own.” I’d been wondering if that would be important to Josh. And after seeing how much diapers cost, I’d tried to imagine how we could swing it.
“Um, Caleb? You know we can’t impregnate each other, right?”
I chuckled. “It would have happened already, I suppose.” Since moving into our apartment, we’d hadsomuch sex. It was like we were trying to make up for years of abstinence these last three months. “People adopt, though. I just want to know if that’s something I should be ready for.”
He looked down at the top of Willy’s fuzzy little head and frowned. “But Ihavekids. Two of them, and one on the way.” He looked up again. “Doyouwant kids?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer that. “It’s not on the top of my list. But if you wanted them, I’d listen.”
Across the sofa, he smiled at me. “Actually, I’m happy renting. I don’t need to hold title, Caleb.”
Aw. I reached over and squeezed his knee. “Good. That works for me.”
“It’s nice of you to ask, though. I like to hear your wheels turning.”
My hand was still on his knee, and I liked it there. “My wheels are always turning, baby. I try to stay a step ahead of you. But it isn’t easy.”
He yawned. “It gets easier this time of night.”
“You’re tired? That’s a shame, because I had some plans for you later.”
