Page 28 of Pipe Dreams
He studied her with big, dark eyes, their lashes so thick and long that they were wasted on a man. “Listen,” he said. “You were right. I owe you a huge apology.”
Lauren waited for him to go on. “Okay?”
His fingertips did a fidgety dance on the tabletop. “Two years ago I made a really hard decision.” His dark eyes checked hers. “But the way I went about it wasn’t cool. I’m sorry I shut you out. You didn’t deserve that treatment from me. I’m sorry I made you the collateral damage to my lifetime of fuckups.”
The waiter chose that moment to show up with Lauren’s soda. “Thank you,” she said quickly, taking the glass. She was thanking him for the interruption as much as for the soda.
She had no idea what to say to Mike. Shedidfeel like collateral damage. Even two years later, one glance at him made her remember how quickly her love had been thrown away. Like yesterday’s trash.
“Your salad will be another five minutes. Can I bring you anything else?” the waiter asked.
“No, thank you.”
When they were alone again, Mike reached across the table, covering her hand with his. “I just want you to know how sorry I am. I’m sorry every day, Lo.”
She stared down at his hand where it covered hers. Theyused to touch like this all the time.Do not cry. “Thank you.”I think. “It was a shock. But more than that, you weren’t honest with me. You didn’t tell me how bad everything really was.” She took her hand out from under his and put it in her lap.
“I know,” he said softly. “I had so much guilt about the unlucky hand that Shelly was dealt. First, she gave up a lot to have my child and marry me. Then she got sicker than anyone her age should ever be. And Elsa was freaking out. She was so scared...”
He stopped talking and Lauren made the mistake of raising her eyes. His were wet. He gave a quick sniff before continuing. “I thought... either I can be happy, or I can be the man they needed me to be. I had to choose.”
Lauren opened her mouth to argue but then slammed it closed again. She’d spent a year arguing with him in her heart.We could have stayed on Long Island together. We could have worked something out. But if he’d wanted that solution, he would have come up with it himself.
His eyes softened in such a way that Lauren was a hundred percent sure that he could actually hear her thoughts. “I should have explained everything to you. That was my huge mistake. But I couldn’t talk to you about it. I was too afraid.”
“Of what?” Her voice came out as a squeak. “That I’d try to talk you out of it?”
“Yeah, and that I’d let you.” Big, liquid eyes held hers. “My heart was with you, Lo. But I didn’t feel like I had a choice.”
“Why?”It was the one-word question she’d held in her heart for far too long.
“I made a vow.” His gaze fell to the table top. “Until death do us part.”
Heat climbed up Lauren’s neck. “And that’s admirable. I get it. But only one of us became Saint Mike. I spent six months wondering what I’d done so wrong that made youerase me from your life.” Hell, her voice had gone all high and crazy. She took a deep breath. “I read about Shelly’s health problems inpress releases, Mike. I learned she died on Twitter. I don’t know why you thought you had to throw a grenade at my life in order to make everything right.”
He cringed. “I’m really sorry it went down like that,” he said quickly. “I owed you an explanation, and you never got one.”
Lauren took a deep breath and realized she actually wasn’t going to cry. Because his apology helped. A lot. She’d been waiting a long time to hear him say these things, and they shored her up inside.
“I will always regret the way I handled things,” he continued.
“You said you...”Loved me. Hell. She couldn’t say that out loud. “The betrayal really stung. I haven’t really trusted anyone since.” She didn’t like admitting it. But the truth was she hadn’t gotten close to anyone new in ages—not romantically, and not even friends.
“I’m sorry, Lo.” He put his elbows on the table and his head in his hands. “I made a mess of everything.”
“Elsa probably disagrees,” she said, and then kicked herself for comforting him.That’s not my job anymore, she reminded herself.
He shrugged. “Elsa’s had a really hard couple of years. Some days I think she’s doing okay. But then there are times when we’ve squared off over something. And she just looks at me like she can’t believe the incompetence of her only surviving parent.”
Lauren chuckled, but she was suddenly so drained of energy. And the waiter set a little shopping bag down on the end of the table, then set down her check.
“Here.” She scrambled for her pocketbook. “Thanks,” she said, quickly laying some cash in the bill folder. It was time this evening came to an end.
“I’ll walk you out,” Mike said.
Please don’t, Lauren begged silently. She had reached her emotional overload threshold already. But he followed her out onto the wet sidewalk.
The rain had stopped, thank god. Whipping out her Katt Phone, a few taps found her an Uber driver who was just three minutes away.
