Page 14 of Hello Forever
Hearing that should have made me giddy, but his face was so fearful. So, being a good friend, I tried to let him off the hook. “So did I. But blowing a load is alwayslikable.”
He gave his chin a short-tempered shake. “No, Ireallylikedit.”
My heart palpitations started up again. “Like, enough to do itagain?”
He kept his eyes on hisshoes. “Yeah.”
Nobody had ever made me as happy as he did right then. That’s the only explanation for how stupid I was immediatelyafterward.
First, I let out a shaky, disbelieving breath. Then I reached over and palmed his chest, right over hisheart.
He looked up at me with fearful eyes, and I didn’t know what to do. Here I had all this joy, and he was afraid of howhefelt.
I raised my hand up to brush a thumb across his cheekbone. “Don’tbesad.”
He gave a long, slow blink. Once again, we were too close to each other for me to ignore my feelings. I leaned forward just a couple ofdegrees.
Caxmatchedit.
And then I kissed him. It was the first time I’d really kissed anyone. So the shock of his lips against mine was almost too much. I’m sure I moaned. He leaned in, his lips parting beneath mine. I slipped my tongueinside.
Heaven. He tasted of everything I ever wanted. His tongue slid warm and wet across mine, and I wrapped my arms around him to get as close as Icould.
We kissed and then kissed some more. And because we were horny teens, our hands began to wander until we were rubbing each other through ourshorts.
It was just too amazing. Too much. Too consuming to hear the approaching footsteps onthepath.
But Ididhear the angry gasp of the pastor who’d found us. And the rough sound of his voice when he demanded that we stop that instant and follow him back to the campoffice.
Cax didn’t look at me at all on the walk back. That’s how I realized how badly I’dfuckedup.
“This is a church camp,” the deacon said over and over when they’d put us in separate rooms to dress us down. “You have sinned against God and made a mockery of ourmission.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” I said. But what I really meant was,Please don’t be awfultoCax.
It wasn’t until years later that I’d realized I’d had no need to cower—that I might have argued when the pastor called me a sinner. How dare he shame me over some kisses? Even worse—I hadn’t had to let Cax go without saying how I felt. I could have grabbed Cax’s hand and told him how important he wastome.
But I hadn’t done any of thosethings.
Instead, I’d let the man lead me back to the office, where he separated me from the best person in my life and called ourparents.
It wasn’t until much later that I remembered the last thing I’d said to Cax.Don’tbesad.
But after that day, Idefinitelywas.
ChapterSix
Axel
Since spottingCaxton at the basketball game, I’d become more conscious of the fact that I might run into him just anywhere. I began to look for him when I crossed the quad or when I was standing in line at thecoffeeshop.
It took a while until we bumped into each other,though.
One of the nice things about working for Barmuth College was the fancy-ass gym. Renovated a couple of years ago, the place was practically a temple to fitness. There were row upon row of cardio machines and a well-stocked weight room. Other offerings included an Olympic-size swimming pool and courts for basketball, squash andtennis.
Since I had no social life, it made the most sense for me to go to the gym after work. Fridays were my favorite—the undergraduates were off eating dinner or making their weekend plans. The gym was gloriouslyempty.
The Friday after I’d seen Cax at the game, I decided to run two fast miles on the treadmill to warm up. I needed the workout. I needed the flex and tug on my muscles and to blow off some steam with my pounding feet. Work was going fine, for the most part. But I was still the new guy, which was never easy. And I was lonely asallhell.
