Page 21 of Hello Forever
Axel must have sensed my martyrdom, because he looked a little sad. “Glad you couldmakeit.”
“Me too.” I grabbed my coat off the doorknob and put it on. I stepped into my boots. But then I stood there, unsure what to say next.Thanks, but we can’t do this again?Was this really it between us? Forever? That seemedimpossible.
While I tried to make sense of it all, Axel stepped closer. He was watching me carefully, probably trying to figure out why I was still standing like a statue in front of hiscloseddoor.
The closer he got, the more aware of him I became. The masculine breadth of his shoulders seemed to loom in my consciousness. I wanted to reach up and measure them against the length of my hands. The dark shadow of his evening whiskers begged me to reach out and touch his chin. How rough would it feel under myfingertips?
I knew I should turn and open the door. But I just couldn’t make myselfdoit.
His face softened as he took a half step closer. The distance between us was mere inches now. “Goodnight, Cax,” he saidsoftly.
Me? I said nothing. I’d been rendered speechless and motionless by all of mydesires.
Axel let his right hand drift over to take mine. I might have managed to turn it into an awkward handshake. And I think he was trying to let medothat.
But I closed my fingers around his hand andsqueezed.
In response, Axel gave a tug, pulling me toward him, letting go only when we were chest to chest. I felt his hands slip under my jacket and land on my waist. Every cell of my body waited for him to kiss me. I wanted it sobadly.
I froze as Axel tipped his head, sighing as his lips moved in to graze my jaw. Goosebumps rose on my chest as he placed a single soft kiss at the corner of my mouth. “Mmm,” he breathed. Then he kissed my cheekbone. Then the side of my nose. His breath ghosted over my skin, and I screwed my eyes shut,waiting.
And then I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned a fractional degree and found his lips with mine. And…goddamn. His lips were both soft and firm as we found each other. The kiss was so…tender. I’d spent a half hour telling Axel my life story during dinner. But somehow I was telling him the whole thing again in an instant. As our lips slid together, everything I’d ever felt for him hummedbetweenus.
His mouth softened, and I took advantage, slipping my tongue between his lips. I was so greedy. He tasted of red wineandman.
Six years I’d waited for this to happen again. I moaned, and my hands found his chest as I leaned against him. That firm, wonderfulchest.
“What do you want?” he whispered between softkisses.
But of course I couldn’t answer. I never gave words to my desires. That gave them too much power. I moved my hands around to his back and pulled him closer. My cock was already heavyandhard.
“What do you want?” he repeated. He took one of my hands and placed it over his cock, which felt as hard as mine. God, I wanted him so, so much. I gave him a firm stroke and he groaned. “I’ll tell you what I want,” he said, kissing my chin. “I want to drag you over to that bed and find out if you’re a top or abottom.”
That’s what wokemeup.
“I can’t,” I gasped, jerking my body backward. “I can’t be either of those things.” My chest was heaving, and my whole body was hot. But I couldn’t keep pretending that this was okay. Finally, I did what was necessary. I spun around, opened the door and went outside. “I’m sorry,” I muttered. “I havetogo.”
Horrified at my erratic behavior, I couldn’t even make myself turn to wave goodnight. The cold air was bracing, and I welcomed the shock of it on my overheated body. Above me, the door closed, but I couldn’t think about that right now. I couldn’t let my mind go back to those moments with Axel. To my ridiculousbehavior.
In front of me, a path opened intothepark.
Itookit.
Wandering around in the woods at night should have been a stupid idea, but there was a good moon tonight, and it lit up the snow between the trees. The path was a dark stripe heading toward campus. So I hurried toward my crappy little room in thegraduatedorm.
It was what I hadtodo.
ChapterEight
Axel
Aweek later,I woke up feeling lonely as fuck. It was Saturday so there was no job to go to. That should have been a blessing. But I had no friends, except for the one I’d kissed after he specifically told me that he couldn’t getinvolved.
That had been stupid of me.Sostupid. I could have had one friend in Henning, Massachusetts, but now Ihadnone.
I put on a few layers of clothing, my iPod and my running shoes, and pounded out two miles around the neighborhood. When I was done showering, it was still only ninethirty.
There wasn’t even a basketball game on towatch.
