Page 29 of Hello Forever
Caxtastrophe:Thanks. Ithink.
Axeldental:This is going to sound weird. I didn’t see you at the bar last night, and I just wanted to know if it was because of me. They were your friends first, so if I make you uncomfortable I can just beg offnexttime.
Caxtastrophe:You weren’t the problem.I was actually on my way over to Bruisers when I got a call from my brother. He needed a ride and a brief lecture from me about peer pressure and underagedrinking.
Axeldental:Huh. Okay. So I didn’t need to expose myself as both paranoid and vain?Whoops.
Caxtastrophe: :-)
Axeldental:Does this mean you could drink beers in a bar with mesometime?
The reply took a whilethistime.
Caxtastrophe:Probably? What am I agreeing torightnow?
Axeldental:Here’s my plan.The basketball team has an away game in Merryline this weekend. It’s about a two-hour drive. After the game I’m going to a bar called The Shaft. Yes, that’s the worst name for a gay bar ever. But it gets good reviews. It would be more fun if you wentwithme.
After I sent that last message, I watched my phone like a hawk looking for its next meal. But there was no response forhours.
The day ticked by slowly. I wrote press releases and worked on segmenting the athletic department’s mailing list by sport. And every two minutes I peered at my phone, hoping Cax wouldrespond.
He put me out of my miseryeventually.
Caxtastrophe:So how would this littleexcursionwork?
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from grinning like an idiot. Then Iansweredhim.
Axeldental:I’ll ride the team’s bus out to Merryline. But I booked myself into a different hotel, because I like my privacy. After the game, I’ll take a cab to the bar. You’d have to drive up. It’s about ninety miles. But you can crash in my hotel room ifyouwant.
I won’t lie—I rewrote the message a few more times, trying to make it sound casual. It took me a while to hit send. I hated rejection as much as the next guy. But if you don’t ask, you can’t everhear“yes.”
To get away from my phone, I went running after work. Treadmills weren’t my thing, but there was snow on the ground pretty much all the time now. So I found the college’s indoor track and pounded out four miles listening to hip-hop on my iPod. When I got home, I found three emails insuccession.
Caxtastrophe:You’re looking for loopholes again. I don’t get to haveloopholes.
Caxtastrophe:I don’t know a soul in Merryline,though.
Caxtastrophe:What does a guy wear to a place called The Shaft? I’m picturing leather pants and a dogcollar.
The last message made me howl with laughter as I tried to picture conservatively dressed Cax inleather.
Axeldental:I’m wearing jeans and a T-shirt. I figure the collar isoptional.
* * *
There wereno more messages that night and none thenextday.
Was there any chance he was coming to Merryline? Probably not. I convinced myself that it was crazy to ask him. But hope springs eternal. So I put condoms and lube in the interior pocket of my overnight bag. And I brought a nice shirt to wear out to the bar. I told myself that it was worth it, anyway. I was going to a gay bar for the first time in months. I might as welllookgood.
I put Cax out of my mind when I boarded the team bus on Friday. There was too much basketball mojo in the air to stress about it, anyway. I listened to the coach’s speech, and I listened to the players psyching themselves up. And I tried to appreciate the parts of my life that weregoingwell.
Lonely was a state of mind, after all. And I wasn’t going to choose ittonight.
ChapterEleven
Cax
Ihadno idea how I’d come to point my car toward Merryline, Massachusetts. That’s what I’d been telling myself,anyway.
