Page 44 of Hello Forever
He came out of the bathroom a couple of minutes later wearing only boxers. His hair was wet and his skin pink from the hot water. “I feel a littlebetternow.”
I put the mug in his hand. “Lie down. I’ll rub your neck a little more beforeIgo.”
He took a sip, then put the mug on the nightstand. “I won’t say notothat.”
Straddling him once again, I let my hands play over all that bare, soft skin. “You are so beautiful to me,” I whispered. “Kills me to see you feelingsoill.”
He let out a long, shaky breath. “I’ll sleep it off. That alwaysworks.”
“Hope it will.” I rubbed his neck, his head, his back. When my hands were too tired to continue, I lay down beside him. His face was turned away from me, but when I put a hand in the middle of his back, I felt him lean into mytouch.
“Thank you,” hewhispered.
“Don’t thank me,” I returned, my voice hushed. “I meant to help you today, but I think I caused you troubleinstead.”
“Not yourfault.”
“I know, but…” I sighed. “There’s no solution, isthere?”
Rolling over to face me, Cax shook his head. “I’ve been trying to tellyouthat.”
“I get it now.” I moved closer, pulling him into my arms. He put his achy head on my shoulder. “I’msorry.”
“Iknow.”
“Ipushedyou,though.”
His arms pulled me even closer. “And Ilikedit.”
Threading my fingers into his hair, I rubbed his scalp. “I love you, you know. Even if I’m notsupposedto.”
He was absolutely silent, so I feared that once again I’d gone too far. That was my specialty, apparently. I was about to apologize for the seventy-fifth time when Cax made a strange sound. And then another one. He wascrying.
“Oh, hon. No!” I crooned, my palm holding his head against my chest. “I’m sorry. You need tosleepand—”
“It’s just the pain, and…” He shook his head, his forehead rubbing against my shoulder. “No, actually. It’snotjust the headache talking. Iachefor you. Every night I lie in this fucking bed and try to find a workaround…” He paused to swallow hard. “Nevercan.”
Now my eyes were hot, too. “If there was anything I could ever do to help you, I’ddoit.”
He let out another shuddering breath. I could feel how hard he was trying to control himself. And my heart broke again with each unhappy noisehemade.
“I should go,” I whispered. Today I finally understood. Getting close to Cax only hurt him. That was just the waythingswere.
“Don’t,” he whispered. “Notjustyet.”
“Okay.” I could never refuse him anything. Not when he was lying in my arms with tears on his face. I brushed them away with mythumb.
“I love you, too.” He said it in an unhappy voice,though.
Ouch.
I squeezed him again to show that Iunderstood.
Everything sucked. And not in agoodway.
ChapterFifteen
Cax
