Page 72 of Hello Forever
“Is it?” He squeezed me around the waist. “My life is a giant messrightnow.”
I shook my head, my nose landing at his neck. “That’s not really true. Precarious, maybe. But things are about to getbetter.”
“Are they? I have to give up on my PhD and find arealjob.”
Stepping back, I looked into his eyes. “Fuck,why?”
“I don’t own that house,” he said. “It’s my father’s mortgage. And he can’t pay it if he’s in jail. I’m just a starving grad student. Can’t keep three kids in burgers and Nikes on a teaching-assistantgig.”
Hugging him again, I made a sad sound in the back of my throat. “Please don’t move away. Because then I’ll need to find a new job wherever you are. And that won’tbeeasy.”
His body went very still against mine, and his voice was hesitant. “I don’t know what the futureholds.”
“I do.” I gave him a squeeze. “It holds you. Because we did not just get through all this bullshit with your father to let something like a job get inourway.”
Cax took a deep, shuddery breath and laid his head on my shoulder. “When you say it like that, I almostbelieveit.”
“You should believe it, because you’re mine. You’ve always been mine, and I’m not givingyouup.”
He smiled into my jaw line. “You wouldn’t really quit your Barmuth job if I had to move toBoston.”
I gave him a kiss on the ear. “There’s a story I need to tell you. But we have to sit down.” Cax let me lead him over to my sofa. It was the first time we’d ever sat there together, but I hoped it wouldn’t be the last. “I got the Barmuth job offer through a Skype interview and a recommendationatOSU.”
He nodded, his hand gently skimming the fingertips that protruded frommycast.
“When I was trying to figure out whether or not I wanted to move here and take the job, I watched a Barmuth basketball game. I streamed it on some college sports network. And on camera, I saw you sitting in your seats. Irecognizedyou.”
Cax’s mouth fell open. “No fucking way,” hebreathed.
“Way,” I said with a chuckle. “I wasn’t ever going to say anything, because it sounds so stalkerish. But part of the reason I came all the way to Barmuthwasyou.”
“God, Ax.” His eyes brimmed. “That’scrazy.”
“Iknow.”
He shook his head. “I mean it’s crazy that youfoundme. And that you’d look in the firstplace.”
Something shifted in my chest. “I’ll always look for you, baby. Please don’t worry about money and jobs. We’ll figure it out. Your father might be ordered to pay support. He can sell that house and pay it out of his equity. And you and I can buy some other place. I make money. Not a ton—but it’s aliving.”
Cax’s eyes widened. “You would…buy a housewithme?”
Hadn’t he been listening? “Any day oftheweek.”
He leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes. “I’m afraid to feel happy. Like, if I let my guard down, something else will come along toscrewme.”
“That wouldbeme.”
He opened his eyes and smiled. “Not tonight, though. Not until you stop making that pain face when you movearound.”
“I hope it’ssoon,then.”
He patted my leg. “Let’s get you tucked into bed. Do you need anything first? A shower? Help with yourkitchen?”
I eyed my bathroom door. “I could use a shower. It’s so awkward holding my arm out of the curtain. Could you hand me theshampoo?”
“Any day of the week,” he said with asmile.
Cax did even better than that. He helped me out of my clothes. That was sexy in a frustrating way, because nothing would come of it tonight. Then he set up the shower and held my hand as I stepped in, supporting my broken arm as I stood under thespray.
