Page 37 of Man Hands
“What?”
“Temporary,” Icorrect.
“Right,” shewhispers.
“Right,” Iagree.
Then we lunge at each otheranyway.
22Today’sTopTen
Top Ten ReasonsI Shouldn’t Kick Off Our Fake Engagement by Sucking FacewithTom
I’m newly divorced. Like, the papers were finally signed just a fewweeksago.
I need to work on my self-worth.
Unbuttoning his shirt is taking time away from polishing up my résumé. But he looks really good bare chested on my sofa, his big legsspread…
Gah!
Other people are at work right now. At desks, with computers andpencilcups.
I need arealjob.
Blogging about dips and balls is not arealjob.
Because when I say the words “dips and balls” I giggle and think of Tom’s dips and balls and I want moreofthem.
I am emotionallyimmature.
I’m unfocused and I need to fill my life with more things besides chocolate andfucking.
Omigod, I really want some chocolate and fucking. Not in thatorder.
When he plays with my boobs, I can’tthink.
There are reporters outside right now hoping to get this oncamera.
But I have sturdy window treatments. I made themmyself.
I can’t even commit to writing a simple Top 10 List without fuckingitup.
I’m abasketcase.
I don’t know Tom very well at all. What makes him tick? Is there anything in his past which should scare me away from being his pretend fiancée? Like, how did he get to be such a goodkisser?
What the fuck am I doing? What number is this? What happened to my list? Why do I consistently start something, make a commitment, and then go all ass-askew on it and do my own thing? Why can’t I focus? I want a better life, and a better life does not mean abetterman
27) But why can’t I have a man in my life? Don’t I deserve that? I have to admit that there is something about him. About Tom. About his hands and his scent and the way he says “Molasses.” Okay. He hasn’t actually said “molasses,” but I bet if I get him to say it, he’ll chew that word. He is a man who lovestochew.
A) I totally want a real relationship, not afakeone.
TOP TEN REASONSI WANT TO BE IN A NOT-FAKERELATIONSHIP
1) Because I don’t want to diealone.
2) …
