Page 7 of Man Hands
No it doesn’t. I just blinked for a reallylongtime.
Although, things do start to get weird. There must be a glitch in the Matrix, because of all people in the universe, I think I see Steve standing with a small group of people across the yard. I blink twice and then look again. Sure enough, my ex-husband has an arm wrapped around a very tall, very young, very thinredheadand…
I sort of losemyshit.
5SheerPropulsion
Brynn
Ithink I’m hyperventilating.Really. My breath comes in rhythmic, soft grunts that are more primal than sexual. I don’t know what thatmeans.
That’s not true. I do know what it means. It’s the sound ofshock.
Because Steve’s hand is slowly pulling the girl closer to him, and then that hand goes creeping downherass.
Worse, the girl is sort of like the photo-shopped version of…me. Our coloring is the same, but she’s taller and thinner andyoungerwith fewer blemishes. She also glows, probably from buffing. And it’s not fair. It really isn’t! I’d glow too if I did somebuffing.
Why the fuck haven’t I beenbuffing?
The crowd they’re standing with can’t see Steve’s butt-cheek maneuver, but I can see it perfectly. It’s a secret message he’s sending, and I’ve heard the broadcast loud and clear: my ex-husband is fucking a beautiful, thin, younger woman. My ex-husbandneverlaid his hand on my ass like that, never publicly claimed methatway.
My ex-husband didn’t have a problem with his libido. He just had a problem getting freakywithme.
“Uh-oh,” Sadie says. Maybe she sees the tears forming in my eyes about to cascade down my face, or maybe she senses the seismic shift that is happening within me. I’m grunting and I’m vibrating, and not in a good way. Maybe, just possibly, I’m going to self-combust because of pain. “Ash?” Sadie says with more than a little panic in her voice. “Dosomething!”
“What’s wrong—” Ash inhales sharply as she sees the spectacle over yonder. “Fuckfuckfuck,” she says. “Quick. Brynn. Take a deep breath. You’re not breathing. Breathe.” She spins me so I’m looking at her. “Do not take your eyes off me, okay? You can get through this. You can dance through this beautifully. And you know how you’re going to do that?” She doesn’t wait for me to answer. “In a minute, I’m going to release you, and you are going to do something totally out of character. You’re going to do what I tell you to do. Do you hear me?Doyou?”
This time it isn’t rhetorical. I grunt inresponse.
“Sadie, your drink,” Ashsnaps.
Sadie swaps her full pineapple for my empty one. “Suck it down,” she orders. And I do. I suck for all my worth. This is liquid courage and, by god, Ineedit.
I’m staring at Ash like she’s the only thing securing me to earth, and maybe she is. Her voice is calm but authoritative. I have known her for fifteen years, and I trust her with my life. So when she says, “You’re going to do what I tell you to do,” I just nod. I nod because I’m hurt and confused and fucking lonely and lost and oh…wait a minute…that feels nice….I’m a little bitdrunk.
Ash squeezes my shoulders. “Okay. When I spin you around, I want you to run and kiss the first guy that makes eyecontact.”
I squeak alittle.
“Don’t question me right now, bitch! This is serious. You are going to do this or we aren’t friends. Youhearme?”
I’m not sure the threats are really all that encouraging, but I don’t care, because listening to her is keeping me from going full-on insane over my ex and his happyfingers.
“And…now!” She grabs the pineapple from my hands and spins me around. Then she slaps myass.Hard.
And I do it! I charge out of the gate like I’m a possessed stallion at the Kentucky Derby. I don’t even spare a glance toward Steve. I just take off running. I think I’m even screaming. It’s like “Yieyieyieyieyie!” Or something. And I’m running as fast as my sturdy thighs canpropelme.
The people around me are a mélange of hipsters and yuppies. Since I’m running, they blur together, becomingyupsters.
Whatever. They don’t matter, because I’d be attracted to whatever a yupster is. They’re probably all vegans and sensitive and That Is A Red Flag. So I go against my natural instincts, and zero in on the guy crouching down in the terraced garden and planting a bush. The gardener!Perfect!
Miraculously he stands up, like I somehow commanded him to. Maybe I did. It’s hard to say because I’m fucking insane right now. One look at him and Iknowhe eats meat. He may be the fucking gardener, but he’s got arms like a linebacker. He’s wearing a baseball cap over a perfectlyweatheredface.
He’s pushing forty, maybe, and he looks like he’s lived outside under the sun, or has at least visited the outdoors once in awhile.
And he just looks…like a man. All six feet whatever inches of him. Our eyes lock and I fucking launch myself at him, like a rocket! I mean, with my weight and the sheer propulsion of my body, a tackle from me should send him flying edge of the terraced gardener and straight into the lake. But the dude catches me. He. Catches. Me. And he squeezesmyass!
Although, to be fair, the ass squeeze might be the only thing keeping me from hurtling over thebalcony.
