Page 8 of Man Hands
But I don’t analyze it, because I’m already on to the next part of my mission. His lips are full, and I attach mine to them like a barnacle in heat. And then I’m sucking off his face like some possessed vacuumcleaner.
For a moment, I’m the only one sucking. That would have gotten embarrassing pretty fast, but a beat later my gardener gets the memo. His brawny arms lock around my body. He shifts me higher on his body, and my legs naturally wrap around his waist. Like it was meanttobe.
And that generous mouth deepensthekiss.
Seriously, it’s better than bacon. Firm lips conquer mine. One of his big hands tightens on my ass, and the other…the other hand goes into my hair and hetugs it a little. Dear god. He was kissingmewith more heat than I thought possible outside a movie studio.A manly sound comes from somewhere deep in his chest, and he holds me so close I think we could maybe withstand a tornado. I melt into him, like a good fonduecheese.
And this is why I should never have more than two drinks. Because I almost pee alittle.
6TheGardener
Tom
Now,here’s the thing. I’ve been a TV personality for over ten years, and I have seen some freaky shit. I once pulled down a wall that was humming to find a hive with a billion bees in it. I’m not joking—it was like some Saturday night horror movie. And I’ve fallen through rotted floor boards.Twice.
But this strange episode developing in front of me is so much moreinteresting.
I feel the woman running before I actually see her. There I am, crouching down to give the new lilac a good start in the earth, when I felt a great thudding. I don’t know what makes me rise as if to meet my destiny. But when I do, I see this demon woman chargingtowardme.
It’s hard to see the whole picture at once, because there’s a lot of motion. Full breasts rising and falling a surprising distance from the force of her running. She’s wrapped up in some kind of dress thing, and the breeze causes it to flap open, giving me a nice glimpse of what that dress is trying tocoverup.
Wowza, my dick says, forgetting everything we’ve accomplished these past few months.Come todaddy.
Crazy fans are nothing new to me. When my show is filming, they crop up everywhere. I’ve even been accosted in the airport by a screaming horde of women so delirious over seeing me that a few of them cried. One fainted. They stop me to tell me which episode was their favorite—like the one where I waded through wet cement to hold up a falling wall with my body while a tornado whipped unexpectedly through aTexastown.
But I have never…in all those years…experienced something as thunderous as this. Literally. The earth is shakingbeneathme.
And then I look into her green eyes and everything goes into slow motion. They’re a beautiful color. Like Benjamin Moore’s Clearspring Green. Even better, need is burning in her gaze. And it’smeshe needs. I know she’s going to leap. I can justfeelit.
Over my ten years as a host forMr. Fixit Quick, I’ve had my share of crazy moments. You’d think I’d learn that when a body in motion comes charging toward me, I’d have the sense to maybestep out oftheway.
But noooooo. Nope. No. I brace myself like I’m back in high school, and I’m a defensive back. I see her coming, and I’m like,“Fuck yeah. I’ve got this,coach.”
And I do. She leaps. I see it in slow motion and I think, “Right here, baby, I got you.” My arms snap closed at just the right time. She is…she’s sorta heavy…but I’m prepared. Every muscle in me locks up tight, and I hoist her up intheair.
Then she wraps her legs around me, and it’s what I imagine it feels like to be squeezed by a python, if you were sexually attracted to a python, because she squeezes me hard with her legs and I feel her enormous breasts pushed against my body, and her ass in my hands, and I gotta tell you, I like it, I like it a whole lot, and she’s suddenly kissing the life out of me, and it’s all I can do to justholdon.
So I do. I hold on. I dig my hands into her ass, and I hold her there. And before I really know what’s happening, her crazy-ass kiss lights a fire inside me. Suddenly, I’m kissing her too, and everything slows down a bit more. She tastes like cinnamon, and I forget about the fucking party and fucking Braht and his dumbass ideas, and all I can think is:I need this woman underneath me and naked, and I need this to happen in about fiveminutes.
Maybeless.
So that’s when I start walking with her wrapped around me like a squid. And I can’t get enoughofher.
This isnotgood.
This isSOgood.
It’s bothatonce.
I promised my agent—and myself—that I’d stay away from women. A year of celibacy. That wasmyplan.
But hey, planschange.
We are locked together like eels as I carry her down to the boathouse and kick open the door. I don’t know why she flew onto my body and attached herself to me. But I haven’t felt this alive for months. Maybe ever. And I’ve never felt more fucking male than I dorightnow.
7I LoveHardwood
Brynn
