Page 30 of Man Hands
“Thelifejacket?”
“Oh.”
He reaches for me and unclips the jacket, and it falls off me. It sorta feels like I’m standing here naked now. I guess, symbolically,Iam.
“Listen, I’m really sorry about tonight and I promise you…I promise I’llfixthis.”
I raise my eyebrow in a question. “But can you FixitQuick?”
He smiles. It’s that fuckable smile I’ve caught a glimpse of a couple of times now, and it makes me throb. In myladybits.
“Well, that is technically my name. I’ll figure out something bytomorrow,okay?”
The horn blares and we jump and Ash, apparently fed up with the incognito spy life shouts, “Oh for fuck’s sake, kiss heralready!”
Hedoes.
It’s soft.Sweet.Slow.
Then he jumps into his dinghy andescapes.
My hero! In hisdinghy.
I giggle again because, come on,dinghyis just aridiculousword.
19To Whom It May Concern, Those Are MyPanties
Brynn
I’m a maelstrom of emotions.Maelstrom. Which is sorta likemale storm,and isn’t that appropriate? So my emotions are swirling in my mind like mad, along with the image of me being fucked by the very masculine, and handy, Tom. I’d be turned on if I weren’t mortified. Iammortified. I’m mortified and a mess, and this is not the state to be in when I’m trying to write an email seeking a tenure-track position in teaching. Or any track position. No one wants professors anymore, least of all professors who specialize in narrative and expositoryessays.
And who better to mold young, malleable minds than naked,humpingme?
At any rate, I’ve got to focus and take care of my life, and taking care of my life means pulling up my big-girl panties (they’re sporting chicks today, but fuck it) and getthatjob.
TO WHOM IT MAYCONCERN:
I am seeking a tenure-track position in English Literature andLanguage.
My specialty is poetry and being fucked by a stranger in aboathouse,
Because that’spoetry,man.
Yeah.
Probably not the impression I wanttomake.
Delete.
TO WHOM IT MAYCONCERN:
I am seeking a tenure-track position, but I’ll basically take anything, except an adjunct position, because, come on, you can afford to pay someone adecentwage.
FYI, I was fired from my last teaching job not just because of downsizing, but because the universe fucking hates me. And if you Google my name to see if I’ll be a good influence on your students, you’ll see how passionate I amabout…
TO WHOM IT MAYCONCERN:
Please consider me for an adjunct position. I’m real smart. Smartitude.That’sme.
