Page 109 of Brooklynaire
“No,” Isnort.
“Then whynow?”
Because now he can crush my heart. I take a deep breath and let it out. “Maybe it’s not Nate that’s intimidating me. Maybe it’s taking a risk on a man. I don’t usually dothat.”
Georgia slaps me on the ass. “The truth is revealed! You are getting smarter. Look atthat.”
“Shut up or I’ll choose tacky wedding favors foryou.”
“Like I’d notice.” She gets up again. “Bye for now. I’m going to strip Leo naked and see if I can’t cheer himup.”
“I love you!” I call as she heads for thedoor.
“Back at you,babe.”
When she’s gone, the room is too quiet. I lay there for a while feeling stupid. I miss Nate. He had box seats tonight and I avoided the box. I wonder what he was thinking about during intermission, and whether he looked for me. There would have been a dozen people hovering, the glitterati of Dallas all turning up to shake hishand.
It’s weird to be Nate. He didn’t ask to be important. I know this because I watched the whole thing go down. He invented some things the world needed, and it just happened. Our office stopped being a pizza-stained Ping-Pong refuge and became a globaldestination.
Maybe Georgia is right that recent events have ruined my mojo. But it’s really hard for me to picture a future where I’m at Nate’s side as he shakes the world’s hand. And that’s the thing I can’t get past—this idea that I’m just temporary fun, and that he’ll wake up one morning and decide it’s time to plan his future in realterms.
And I won’t be init.
Even so, I owe him an apology. I pick up the house phone and dial room 512. It rings and rings. So I pull out my phone and text Heidi Jo.Did you happen to see Nate after the game? Any idea where he might be?Maybe I’m feeding her gossip right now but I can’t helpit.
New York, she replies immediately.He flew home after the game. I put him in a car to theairport.
Ah, well. Now there are several empty hotelrooms.
Do you need anything?Heidi Joasks.
As always, I’m tempted to say no. But the truth is that she’s been really helpful lately, and I haven’t held up my end of the bargain.If you wouldn’t mind, please help me remember to make a therapy appointment tomorrow. I need to get back inthere.
Good idea!!!She replies instantly. Three exclamation points. But they make me smile instead of annoying me. The girl is really growing on me. If I weren’t such a raging lunatic these days I might have appreciated hersooner.
Get some rest,I say.Good worktoday.
She replies with three different styles of heart emoji. Of course shedoes.
26
Rebecca
June 5, Dallas
We win game two,but Nate is not in attendance at all. After the game, Leo Trevi buys me a glass of wine, which I drink quickly. Having no tolerance for alcohol anymore, it gets me drunk. So I proceed up to my big empty hotel suite with the lonely Jacuzzi tub and I drunk-dialNate.
I get his voicemail, which should have bailed me out of this bad idea. But no. I leave amessage.
Hi. I’m alone in this beautiful hotel room but I yelled at you and you’re not here at all and I know you hate Dallas but we won tonight in overtime even though the team looked a little skittish. They miss Beringer. Fucking injuries. What was I saying? Oh I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I can’t read a hotel manifest and that I didn’t notice you’d switched our rooms, which means youdidlisten to me when I thought you didn’t. I’m still mad about the doctor’s bills because you should have asked first. But I don’t know what that proves because you’ll always be the guy with the money and I’ll still be the girl who didn’t finish school. And I obviously can’t get over that. Or maybe I can, but the playoffs are going on and I need to go back to therapy and take a damned deep breath. So I hope you’ll let me dothat.
Or something likethat.
Maybe it wasn’tquitethatbad.
No, it probably was. My apology was in there somewhere, buried under piles of angst and indecision. If I haven’t already convinced Nate that I’m really just too much trouble, that phone call probably seals thedeal.
“Bingley?” I ask, staring up at the ornate ceiling. Even the ceiling of the suite is a cut above your average hotel roomceiling.
