Page 47 of Bountiful
My sister got up and fetched the plush dog from its spot on the floor. “Hi, Nicole,” she said, kneeling down on the rug beside the coffee table. “I’ve got someone here who wants tomeetyou.”
Nicole lifted her still-sleepy face from Benito’s shoulder. When she spotted the dog she began to wiggle toward thefloor.
Ben set her down on her feet, and Nicole put one chubby hand onto the coffee table. Then she began to move, clutching the table in one hand, waddling around it toward Bess and the bigstuffy.
“Look at you! Walking like a big girl!” Bess’s eyes wereshiny.
In order to reach my sister, the baby had to pass me. And I was so trapped inside my own head, just trying to take it all in, I didn’t realize that my knees were blocking her way around the coffee table. She stopped, put a surprisingly warm little hand on my bare knee and turned to look upatme.
When I got a look at her expression, a small bark of shocked laughter escaped from my throat. Her face was miniature, but it was all business.Outta my way, mister. And hereyes—dark brown, with an intensity that was all her mother. The familiarity stole mybreath.
I moved my knees in a hurry, and shetoddledpast.
“Isn’t the likeness amazing?” My sisterasked.
“Yeah, to hermother.” I looked up to where Zara sat on the sofa. “She just gave me a…Zaraglare.”
Zara’s eyes widened. She gave me a smile that was a little less terrified than before, and I felt my chest flood with an emotion I had nonamefor.
When she made her way over to Bess, Nicole sort of flung herself onto the dog, which was at least twice her size. My sister laughed, and I saw tears in her eyes. Bess put a tentative hand on the baby’s soft hair and whispered something sweettoher.
I swear to God I’d never seen my sister fuss over a baby before. Didn’t know she liked babies. Then again, I’d never reallyaskedher.
And, crap, my own eyes began tofeelhot.
I took a deep inhale and let it out slowly.My baby. I tried the words out in my head for the first time. Those impossiblewords.
But she was right there on the rug, her little arms squeezing thestuffy.
Deepbreaths.
While Bess was focused on the baby, I snuck glances at Zara. I couldn’t imagine what was in her head right now. Did she evenwantme to meet her child? She was probably just humoring us. She’d never wanted anything to do with me outside of the bedroom. The Zara I’d known before would have kicked us outalready.
But I had to admit that this new Zara seemed different. She was tentative. Watchful. I hated to wonder if that was my fault, if I’d knocked her off her game by showing up hereagain.
Her eyes suddenly met mine, and I realized that she’d been sneaking looks at me, too. We both looked away at thesametime.
Meanwhile, Nicole was becoming more comfortable with my sister. More animated. She stood on her stubby legs and gathered the dog’s floppy midsection into her arms. Then she tried to walkwithhim.
It didn’t work out so well. She stumbled twice, Bess catching her each time. Bess got closer, trying to hold the stuffy so Nicole could grip it better. And I saw Nicole raise her eyes to Bess’s, and then decide she didn’t want a stranger’s help. She looked around for her mother, wearing a suddenlycrankyface.
“Right here,” Zara saidquickly.
The baby did her little waddle—butt out, hands up—back in her mother’s direction. And when she reached Zara’s knees, she was scooped into her lap. Then Nicole grabbed the edge of Zara’s T-shirt and began to tug itupwards.
“Um…” Zara chuckled, looking suddenly uncomfortable. She used an elbow to pin her shirt down against the baby’s attempts to lift it. “Benny? Would you grab me that afghanbehindyou?”
He handed over the blanket, and I watched her drape it over Nicole’s head. The baby squawked, and I still didn’t know what was going on. Zara reached underneath the blanket, wriggling to adjust something. “We’re still nursing,” she said, which finally clued me in. “It’s probably time to wean, but I just haven’t gotten aroundtoit.”
She gave me a nervous little glance, but I sure as hell didn’t have an opinion about nursing babies. And I wouldn’t have voiced one ifIhad.
Once again, Bess made small talk by asking Benito about the mill and by picking up our coffee mugs to take them over to thekitchenarea.
“I got those,” Benito said. “Yousit.”
There was movement under the blanket, which was suddenly flung away by one little arm. It was hard to blame the kid for pushing the blanket off her face on an eighty-degree day. But Zara’s cheekbones flushed pink as her baby made herself more comfortable by baring Zara’s breast. She’d put her little palm up against the swell ofZara’sboob.
And—whoa. Zara had expanded in the chest department. She wascurvynow.
