Page 49 of Bountiful
“Me. He saved me.” Her eyes got shiny. “When he was fourteen, he hit himself in the face with a wrench. Fourtimes.”
“God,why?” Igasped.
“So that someone wouldnotice,” she said quickly. “Our father only hit us where it wouldn’t show. I got the worst of it, because I fought back more than Dave did. It was terrible. So he needed to make a point, that’s why he beat himself up. That same week, the school intervened. Our grandparents had to step up and open their home. He broke his own cheekbone. But our father never hit meagain.”
“Jesus, Bess!” Dave hissed, re-entering the room. “Nobody wants to hearaboutthat.”
Bess flushed, but her eyes argued with him. And her brother stared her down, quietly threatening hellfire if she kept talking about theirchildhood.
It was almost like I could hear their argument flying back and forth through the air. Because I’d had those sibling standoffs, too. Benito and I had engaged in more silent battles than I couldcount.
My brother bailed them out of their argument by changing the subject. “Bess, have you been to Vermontbefore?”
“I can’t sayIhave.”
“When Nicky has had her fill, we can all get outside for a few minutes. I’ll give you the nickel tour of the banks of the Winooski River. Or you and I could godownnow.”
“Great idea,” she said, taking the bait. She rose from the sofa, not lookingatDave.
They were obviously trying to give me a moment alone with Dave, though I wasn’t sure either of us was readyforone.
“We’ll join you in just a minute,” I said. “Nicole loves to getoutside.”
“See you down there.” My brother headed forthedoor.
A silence settled over the room as soon as Benito and Bess exited. Avoiding Dave, I looked down at Nicole, where she lazily nursed in my arms. One of her chubby hands had found a lock of my hair, which she was twisting. When she’d been really little and nursing all the time, I’d had to pin my hair up or she’d tie me inknots.
A shadow fell over us, and then the sofa depressed under Dave’s weight as he sat down beside me. I held mybreath.
“She’s beautiful, Zara.” His voice was so soft I might have missed it if all my senses weren’t dialed up to eleven. “Justlikeyou.”
“Thank you,” I said stiffly. And Nicole chose that moment to pop off of my nipple and struggle to sit up. I swiftly tucked my boob away and smoothed down my shirt. The baby spent a moment studying Dave. My pulse pounded in my ears, and I waited to see if she’d climb into his lap. Nicolelovedmen, in spite of the fact that she didn’t have a daddy. She gravitated toward their deep voices, and never showed any fear.Mommy’sgirl.
I wondered what he’d do if she approached him. Would he pick her up and smile? Or would that look of hesitation stay onhisface?
And which of those two things did I want? I was at war withmyself.
Nicole didn’t approach him, though. Dave wasn’t doing anything particularly entertaining—just watching her. So Nicole decided to wiggle toward the floor. I set her down and then found Davestudyingme.
“Hey. I wanted to apologize again for being rude yesterday,” he whispered as Nicole wandered back over to the giant stuffy Bess had brought. “I wasshakenup.”
“I can onlyimagine.”
“I’ll bet you’re a little shaken up, too,though.”
“Yeah,” I said quickly, meeting his green eyes. And, wow. I never thought I’d be trapped in that emerald gaze again. “Yesterday was like seeing aghost.”
He smiled suddenly, and I felt a shiver of familiarity. Then his smile faded. “I’m sorry if I wasadick.”
“It’s okay. I get it.” I cleared my throat. The tension between us was oppressive, so I changed the topic. “Your sister isgreat.”
“In small doses,” he corrected, and I laughed. “Your brothers really look out foryou,too.”
“That would be better in small doses, too,” I agreed. “They love me, but my family is bossy as fu…heck,” I correctedquickly.
He grinned. And then he did something even more unexpected. He reached over and pulled me into a brief, tight hug. “It’s good to see you again,” he whispered right into my ear. “I can’t imagine the timeyou’vehad.”
The next moment he released me, but it took a few seconds for my brain to catch up. I was still stuck on the feel of his hard chest against my body and the familiar scent of his aftershave. “I…” I stammered, my brain fogged. “It’s been…”Focus, Zara. “I’m doing well. You don’t have to feelguilty.”
