Page 68 of Bountiful
“No wonder your mom didn’t want to livewithhim.”
“Exactly,” Zara agreed. “Otto never held back his opinion on my mother’s life choices, just like he doesn’t hold back on me. My mom just couldn’t stand it. Living with him would have meant more space for us but less peace for her. And I get it now. My brothers are great. They’re so much kinder than Otto. But even so, they’re all up in mybusiness.”
“I can’t imagine how you’ve kept it together,”Isaid.
“It’s been a chaotic couple of years.” She laughed. “But there’s something I want to explaintoyou.”
“Yeah?”
“Two years ago I was in a dark place. I wasn’t very happy with myself or anyone else. I wasn’t always that nicetoyou.”
I laughed, because that’s not really how I remembered it. “You seemedprettynice.”
Zara’s eyes sparkled. “I suppose I had my moments. But I was angrier at the world that summer. In spite of, uh, recent evidence to the contrary, I’m much happier now. I have a new business and a healthy kid. I’m feeling pretty optimistic. You don’t have to worryaboutme.”
“That’s great. I…” Let’s face it, I could not say the same thing for myself. “You found optimism, and I’m more of awreck.”
“Really?Why?”
“Well…”As it turns out, I’m not invincible, and also stupider than I’d thought. I wasn’t used to sharing my thoughts with anyone. Let alone Zara. And where to start? My career seemed to have hit a rough patch. The future scared me, and everyone had tiptoed around me all season. “I had an injury during the playoffs that’s still bothering me. That’s the worstofit.”
She made a sympatheticsound.
“Two years ago I felt like I had the world hanging off the end of my dick. Now I just feel like an old guy in a youngman’slife.”
“You look okay to me,” Zara said. And when I met her gaze, those spots of pink had returned to her cheekbones, and she looked away. “Still inBrooklyn?”
“Yeah. I own a condo that’s only two blocks from our training facility. Bunch of guys live in the same building. It’sgreat.”
“I lived inBrooklynonce.”
“Really?When?”
“For two years right after high school. That’s where I learned to tend bar—in a nightclub in lower Manhattan. I used to take the F train home to Red Hook at four in the morning, and fight sleep so nobody couldpickpocketme.”
“Yikes.”
“It wasn’t a great life. When I came home to Vermont, I appreciated it a lot more. Otto let me tend bar, and within a year I was running theplace.”
Ahead of us, Nicole tripped over something in the grass. She pitched forward, and my heart lurched as her small body made the short trip to the ground. It wasn’t the worst fall I’ve ever seen, but her shriek was almostinstantaneous.
“Oh, baby.” Zara ran and scooped her up off the grass. “You’re fine,” she said calmly. “It was just atumble.”
But the baby howled. Her little face turned red, and she wailed onto Zara’sshoulder.
“Come over here for a moment?” She didn’t beckon, since her arms were full of the child. But I followed her around the end of the row of trees, toward anoutbuilding.
Square bales of hay were lined up against the outer wall, and Zara sat down on one of them, as if it were a bench. I sat down beside her, while the baby stillcried.
“She’s just tired,” Zara said. “My brothers love to rile her up and then hand her back to me.” She fumbled with the strap of her dress, tugging it off her shoulder. In a practiced maneuver, she freed her breast and the baby latched right on, going silent mid-shriek. Then her little body relaxed completely inZara’sarms.
“That’s some powerful mojo you’ve gotthere.”
“When it works, it works.” She tipped her head back against the barn wood. “I have yourwatch.”
I had no idea what she was talkingabout. “What?”
“Your wristwatch. You left it behind. I put it in a drawer. I thought I’d never find you, and someday I’d end up giving it to Nicole when I was ready to explain to her the real story of where she came from. But now I can return it to youinstead.”
