Page 114 of Bountiful
Dave stroked my palm with his roughened fingers under the table while Grandpa dove into a recitation of ourblessings.
It took a while, because there really were so many. Even with my eyes closed I could feel the presence of this circle of friends, each one dearer to me than the next. My heart split right open like an overripe peach from all the goodness inmylife.
I’d spent a long time feeling like the girl who had less than everyone else. I hadn’t known it would ache just as much to feelblessed.
After the “amen,” we settled in to enjoy Ruth and Audrey’s cooking. There was pork loin with plum sauce, garden carrots, a version of potatoes au gratin, and piles of roastedcauliflower.
“Wow,” Dave said, helping himself to another portion of the potatoes. “I shouldn’t eat like this until next month, but I don’t think I canholdback.”
My poor little heart trembled at this mention of hisdeparture.
“Off to New York?” May asked. “When doyougo?”
“Tuesday,” he said, setting downhisfork.
The food I’d eaten settled heavily in mystomach.
“But you’ll visit soon, right?” Audreychirped.
“I’ll sure try,” he said. “I’m hoping Zara and Nicole can visitme,too.”
“See?” Griff said. “You two need anemployee.Stat.”
“All right, already,” Audrey grumbled. “You and Kieran can stop mansplaining our business to us now. We’ve been a little busy running the shop, cooking your dinner, and gestatingyourheir.”
I had to laugh. Trust Audrey to break the tension knotting inside my chest. I cut more little cubes of meat for Nicole, and the conversation moved on to cidermaking, as it often did at this timeofyear.
After dinner,I left Nicole on Dave’s lap and helped with the dishes for once. Dessert was served, and my peach tart praised. I drank a second glass of wine—another first. “Nicole doesn’t nurse at bedtime anymore,” I told Ruth and Audrey. “So I guess I can have anotherdrink.”
“I hope I can figure out nursing,” Audrey said, settling into a chair with a cup ofherbaltea.
“Of course you can,” I said, dryinganotherpan.
Audrey hooted. “You were, like, theperfectearth mother. But I’ve heard horror stories from other people. Bleeding nipples and babies who can’tlatchon.”
“It will be fine!” Iassuredher.
“You made pregnancy look like a cakewalk,” Audrey complained. “Seriously. My ass has already doubled in size, and I just spent the last three months puking. You looked like a string bean concealing a soccer ball under your shirt, and you woreheelsbehind the bar until you were eight months’ pregnant. Who could competewiththat?”
“They weren’t spike heels,” I pointed out, but Audrey, May, and Lark all groaned andlaughed.
“Wish I hadn’t missed that,” Dave said leaning in the kitchen doorway, Nicole in one arm and a glass of wine in his hand. His green gaze was warm, and it was aimed right at me. “Wish I hadn’t missed a lot ofthings.”
The kitchen got quiet.You’re about to miss a lot more, I couldn’t help but add silently. There was no helpforit.
“We should get home,” I said instead. My baby girl’s eyes were shut where she lounged on hisshoulder.
“Probably true,” he said, then finished hisglass.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Dave
We saidour thank-yous and goodbyes. I put Nicole into her car seat without waking her up. A month ago I couldn’t have imagined doing that, but it wasn’tevenhard.
It turns out that holding on to your child wasn’t that difficult. Holding on to your moody woman, on the other hand, was a little tougher. Tonight I could feel all Zara’s barriers going up again. When Griff Shipley’s sister had asked when I was leaving for New York, Zara had put on the bullet-proof mask that I used to know so well, and she hadn’t taken it off again allevening.
The ride back to The Gin Mill parking lot was a quiet one. We were both lost in our own worries, I guess. But that was the problem. We’d never had the chance to talk to each other like a real couple, and I’d never done that with anyone in mywholelife.
