Page 96 of Bountiful
“Good work,” I said, and the praise sounded alien to myownears.
Actually, everything about this moment was weird. Alec had given me the chance to drop Nicole in his lap and be done. But I hadn’t taken him up on the offer. Sure, it was partly just stubbornness on my part. But so what? I could hold the baby for a couple of hours just as well as Alec could. And Zara had left the job to me. I wasn’t about to letherdown.
Truthfully, there were moments when I still felt in my bones that I wasn’t father material. But it was dawning on me that fathers were made, not born. You held the baby and you figured out how she ate cereal. You learned to prevent her from doing a header off the bed. You justdealtwith whatevercameup.
Before now I’d convinced myself that my own shitty childhood meant I’d never understand this. But my parents’ ghosts didn’t hover today. It was just me and a little girl who needed her hands dried on the dishtowel.
When that was done, I carried Nicole into Zara’s bedroom and found my clothes. We sat down on the bed while I pulled on the khakis I’d worn to the wedding, and then the shirt,unbuttoned.
I didn’t let Nicole near the edge of the bed. I kept her close, and she climbed into my lap and put her little hands on my chest. When I lifted her up suddenly, she squealedwithglee.
My phone chimed again from the coffee table in the living room. I grabbed it when the baby and I sat down again. The text was another from my lawyer.This paternity test means the judge will grant you visitation if you want to ask for it. You’re the father with 99.999+ percentcertainty.
That was not the least bit surprising, but it still felt strange to see those words on my phone. “See? You’re stuck with me,” I whispered toNicole.
She gave me an appraisingsquint.
“Can you say daddy?” Those were words I’d never expected to say inmylife.
“Dah-dah.”
I laughed so suddenly her eyes widened. “Did you really justsayit?”
“Bah-bdah,” shebabbled.
“Huh. We’ll revisit thatlater.”
Alec was glaring at me from the other end of the sofa. I didn’t know why he didn’t just go upstairs already. Was I really expected to fuck up so spectacularly that he’d need to save the day? Or, worse, was he intending to make me so uncomfortable that I’d justleave?
Leaning back on the couch, I made myselfcomfortable.
Nicole was a little bored with me so she crawled out of my lap toward Alec. He picked her up, looking smug. “Look,” he said to me. “I think you should stay away from my sister andNicole.”
Ah, there it was. “That’s not your call,” I pointed out. “And you don’t know me. So I don’t know why you’d evensaythat.”
“You’re not what sheneeds.”
“Really? And what does she need?” Iasked.
“A guy who lives in the same area code, forstarters.”
I didn’t even know what to say to that. And luckily it didn’t matter, because the door swung open and Zara stepped through, carrying a cup of coffee. She took in the sight of the two of us sitting at opposite ends of the sofa, and her face turned wary. “I thought you could sleep in today,” she saidtoAlec.
“Woke up at six in a panic that I hadn’t heard you at the door,” he grumbled. “That coffeeforme?”
“Nope.” She crossed the room and handed ittome.
“Thank you. Very thoughtful,”Isaid.
Alec rolledhiseyes.
“You can go back to bed, big brother,” she said. “Especially if you’re here tojudgeme.”
“He’s here to judgeme,” I said. “I’mprettysure.”
Alec stood, the baby in his arms. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. Then he handed her to Zara and left withoutaword.
She flinched as the door closed with a bang. “Sorry. Was he an asstoyou?”
