Page 27 of Man Cuffed
“Two minutes,” she says, walking quickly in the wrong direction. “I can’t meet your sister in short shorts and a tank top.”
I freeze in place. It hadn’t occurred to me that Meg wouldmeetRosie. Even before I knew Meg was coming along, I saw myself tossing the cake in the general direction of a dozen women, pecking Rosie on the cheek, and getting the hell out of there.
That was probably just wishful thinking.
So I wait.
And wait.
Ten minutes later I’m still sitting in my car, waiting for Meg, and questioning all my life choices. Just when I’m wondering if someone has kidnapped her, Meg finally appears. “Sorry,” she says, breathless. The car door slams. “I’m ready now.”
I turn to glance at her, and it’s a mistake. In place of the short shorts, Meg is wearing big shades, red lipstick, and a yellow dress that shows just as much of her smooth legs, if not more. She’s like a leggy goddamn flower that I really want to pluck.
And pluck.
And pluck harder.
“Do you have a siren?” she asks. “I want to play with it.”
I close my eyes and groan.
“Or not,” she says quickly. “What are you giving your sister for her shower?”
“Not sure,” I say, starting the engine. “There’s a registry, so I don’t have to think too hard about it.”
“Uh-oh,” Meg says as I pull out of the parking space.
“What now?”
“You can’t buy off the registry on the day of the shower.”
“Why the fuck not? That’s what registries are for.”
She gives me a patient look. “All the good stuff will be taken already. You’ll be left buying the caviar spoons.”
“The what? Nobody buys caviar spoons.” I accelerate toward the store just in case, though.
“Weddings make people a little crazy,” Meg says. “Trust me.”
The store is calledCoq de la Cuisine. When we get there, I find a salesperson and give him my sister’s name. “Oh dear,” he says with a disapproving frown. “The shower is today? I believe she still needs the caviar spoons. And perhaps thebrosse de toilette.”
“The...what?”
“The toilet brush,” the man says with a patronizing smile.
And now I feel like one of those Instapots with the top loose. I might explode. “I’m not buying a goddamn toilet brush as a gift! This is for family that Ilike.”
“Surely you can find something to your taste?” The salesman lifts a hand and makes a game-show gesture toward the vast selections on the shelves.
“Christ,” I grumble. I can’tchoosesomething for Rosie. It’s supposed to work the other way. She chose literally everything in my apartment except my clothes and underwear.
“Deep breaths, Copper,” Meg says. “I’ll find something.”
“Would you?” I gasp. “Shopping makes me itch.”
Meg claps her hands like I’ve just promised her Redwings tickets. “What’s your budget?”
“Try not to scare me. Bonus points if we’re out of here in ten minutes.”
