Page 16 of Man Cuffed
“So scrawny! I thought you said he was hunky?”
Even though I’m drunk right now, something clicks into place. There is sex happening next door, in Hot Cop’s apartment. But Hot Cop isn’t the one who’s having it.
Holy hell! Hot Cop’s girlfriend is cheating!
“Omigosh!” Cassidy cries. She’s really leaning out over forty-five feet of airspace, now. “Is this what it’s like to watch porn?”
“You don’tknow?” I ask, forgetting to whisper. We have got to get this girl some more life experience.
She leans out a little farther, and now I’m starting to question our life choices. “You have to come back now,” I say, straining in my harness. “You’re heavier than you look.” She has a glassy look in her eye, though. “Cassidy, don’t go toward the light.”
“He’s got three legs!” She sounds overjoyed.
“Three legs?” What the...
Then Cassidy realizes her mistake. “OH MY GOD THAT’S NOT A LEG! It’s not a leg!! Abort mission! Pull me in! Pull me in!!”
I’m using all my strength to pull her back. But that’s difficult when you’re both drunk and dying of laughter. Who is this skinny, little man with a penis so large that Cassidy thought it was another appendage? There’s no way that it’s my cop.
I give one final heave, and Cassidy reels back toward me. I try to catch her. I really do. But momentum is a scary thing. The moment she lands in my arms, we both just crash to the deck, a jumble of ropes and limbs and shrieks of laughter.
That’s when I hear the skitter of claws coming toward us on the other side of the fence. “ARF ARF ARF ARFFFF!” yips a dog.
“YES YES YES!” screams the neighbor lady.
She doesn’t even care. She’s banging a skinny dude with a dog, while her boyfriend is at work, and I am not okay with it. Does she not know how good she has it? Does she not know how hard it is to find a gruff-voiced dirty talker who holds your plant in the elevator?
Is she out of her mind?
I stand up and dust myself off. I’m disgusted for Mac Maguire. But on the plus side, I think I’ve finally figured out what I want to do with my life, at least short-term. There’s something rare in Hot Cop’s gray eyes, and it makes me want to help him. I know what it feels like to be lied to. He needs to know the truth. And she needs to go.
My new mission in life: take that bitch down.
5Too Abrupt
Maguire
“She’s not my girlfriend,” I say for the hundredth time to Lance. “Eyes on the property.”
We’re on stakeout in a quiet neighborhood. Not my favorite job duty. We’re sitting in an unmarked car outside a car repair shop. My boss is waiting on a search warrant for this property, and it’s our job to make sure the perp doesn’t leave the premises with stolen goods or light the place on fire before the search can begin.
It’s an important job, but not an exciting one. And worse, it gives Lance a lot of time to hassle me about my personal life.
“Does she stay overnight?”
“Yes,” I say reluctantly.
“Does she sleep in your bed?”
“Define sleep?”
“In the middle of the night, if you wanted some action, could you move your hand between her velvet thighs and stroke her quivering core until she’s begging for your thick, throbbing…”
“HEY!” I bark, shutting him up. “This is my real life, not one of your books.”
Lance has not had a girlfriend in a while. He listens to erotic romance audiobooks instead. Sometimes, he plays me excerpts of his favorites.
“But hypothetically,” he presses.
