Page 18 of Man Cuffed
I also sort of want to know how to fuck someone three ways at the same time. Seems like that would require imagination. Or dexterity.
Just as I’m trying to picture it, three cruisers roll down the street, lights on.
“The warrant came through,” Lance says.
“You think?” I roll my eyes as the radio crackles, and my boss’s voice starts giving instructions.
We’re relieved of our duties.
“Lunch?” Lance asks.
“Sure.”
“Where do you want to go? And don’t say Ye Olde Tavern.”
“I’m done with that place,” I promise him.
If only I was done thinking about my neighbor.
6Boxers, Cufflinks, and a Little B&E
Meg
Life sure is a lot more interesting when you have a mission. Or a role to play. That’s one of the reasons I’ve always enjoyed acting. It gives me purpose. Makes me feel more alive.
It’s two days after the big discovery, and I’m on my way home from work. My new job is at another restaurant—The Hip Burger. It’s the same grind as at all my other food service jobs, except here I get to wear shorts and a T-shirt and tennis shoes. It’s all about comfort now. And tips, of course. It’s a high-turnover bar, so what I lose in huge bills for bridal showers, I gain in serving quick meals to people who leave obnoxious piles of cash behind because they’re too drunk to calculate the tip.
My bank account had a good night. And I’m still a little wired. So instead of heading straight home, I hit the 24-hour Meijer for a little late-night shopping. After all, a good theater production needs props. Tomorrow could be a big moment for me.
Operation Sting the Bitch is on.
I’m more determined than ever to ensnare Maguire’s cheating girlfriend in her own trap. These past two days, I’ve seen two different dudes make their way to Maguire’s apartment when he’s not home. Don’t ask me how I know. Let’s just call it research for the moment I eventually play someone creepy on a Lifetime movie.
And let’s just say these men aren’t watching TV with Maguire’s girlfriend. Those visits have a soundtrack of their own.
It seems odd to me that Maguire doesn’t know his cherry is banging a bunch of sundaes. He’s a cop, right? He should pick up on these things. Maybe he’s just too in love with her to be able to accept reality.
So I’ve decided that reality will accept him instead.
At Meijer, I take my time picking out a few items that will serve as clues. Surely, as a cop, he’ll be able to read the story I’m telling. Just to be safe, I choose a pair of boxers withHOT TAMALEprinted on the crotch. This is no time for subtleties. He must understand that something is up. And it’s not him.
I also grab a few other key props, including a slingshot. Don’t judge me. I have a plan. I’ve spent many hours devising my strategy, and it’s brilliant.
Also, I really need some direction in my life.
* * *
The next morning,it hurts to wake up. But I’ve set my alarm for the ungodly hour of seven, when I can be sure to catch Hot Cop at home.
And sure enough, I can hear the low rumble of Maguire’s voice through the wall. It’s my favorite sound these days, so I manage to peel myself off the bed and make myself vertical.
Since I’ve laid out my tools ahead of time, it takes mere seconds to silently open the door to the deck and assume the attack position. But first, some recon. I can hear Maguire’s voice clearly now. It’s a warm morning, and his deck door is open, too.
He’s on the phone, I think. “This perp has a system. He steals keys from the valet stand. Uh-huh. When the garage guy steps away. Yeah. Pull the camera footage. Bet you anything it’s the same guy.”
Oh, swoon! My favorite cop is going to nail a bad guy. If he won’t nail me, I guess this is the next best thing. I feel some flutters down below already. I can picture him right now, his shirt sleeves rolled up on muscular forearms. His cup of coffee in hand. He drinks it black, of course. He’s pacing around his apartment, pecs rippling…
My fantasy life might be running away with me. It’s time for action. I pick up the slingshot and load it with the hot tamale boxers. Then I listen carefully to that sexy voice. The moment it dampens—meaning he’s turned his back to me—I stand up, lift the slingshot over the fence and fire.
