Page 68 of Man Cuffed
“They’re afraid of your big brain,” Aubrey insists. “Is there a dating app for geniuses? I mean, there’s a dating app just for farmers. And there’s one just for men with beards.”
“It gets weirder than that,” I point out. “There’s a dating app for people who likeStar Trek. And an app for people who like to eat bacon together.”
“Mmm bacon,” Aubrey says with a sigh. “I’ve heard worse ideas.”
I pick up a slice of mine and take a big bite. It’s nice to be out with friends. But I can’t stop my traitorous mind from serving up flashbacks of last night. I think about how good it felt to hold Maguire, too. And I wonder how many licks it will take to get to his emotional center.
20Really Profound
Maguire
Breakfast with Lance was a mistake. Sometimes I wonder if he’s my best friend by choice or by default. I’m sitting at his kitchen counter and he’s just whipped us up some breakfast that is 99% meat 1% tomato.
I’m okay with this. We’ve got coffees and are shoveling the food in our mouths.
The bigger problem is that he’s cruising an iPad and giggling. Jesus, the mangiggles. We could not be more opposite if we tried. “There’s a quiz that I think can help you. It’s called ‘Am I In Love?’”
The What The Fuck look must clearly show on my face.
“What?” Lance asks. “I’ve been doing some sexual research. And I found thatCosmohas all these awesome quizzes about sex toys and positions. I’m good at the sex toys one already, and my score keeps improving on the positions. Some of the information is really profound.” He says this without an ounce of sarcasm.
The dude is...goddammit. He’s just a delight. But I’m never telling him that. “Are you seriously going to have me take a quiz inCosmo?”
“Just answer the questions, okay?” Number one wants to know whether I enjoy talking to her, or just having sex with her.”
“Both,” I say. “This is stupid. I don’t need to know if I’m in love with her. I’m not. Not ever. I just want to know how long I can sleep with her before she wants a commitment and I have to move out. Please let the answer be a very, very long time.”
“But that’s why this quiz is appropriate. If you have no feelings for her, then you’re safe for six months. Maybe even a year.”
A year of fucking Meg and drinking beer with her and hanging out and eating food and then fucking her again? I could be good with that. “What if this...quiz...says I do have some, whatever, feelings for her?”
“Then you’re doomed.”
“I can’t be doomed. I’m taking her to my sister’s wedding and she’s agreed to fall all over me and make my family think I don’t give a shit about my brother and sister-in-law.”
“That’s a healthy idea for sure,” says Lance.
“Just give me question 2,” I bark.
“What initially drew her to you?”
Okay, this one is more confusing. How does a guy explain that kind of magnetic pull? Or that I didn’t even mind when she tried to undress me within thirty seconds of meeting me? Or the way one hot look or smart-ass comment from her makes something inside me light up?
“She had a plant that was too big,” is what I go with.
Lance squints at the tablet. “That’s not one of the options.”
“There are options?”
“Well, yeah. It’s a quiz, dipshit. Not a therapy session.”
“Oh. Whoops.” It feels like a therapy session.
“These are your choices. A) That ass in those jeans. B) Her bright smile. C) She said something that made you laugh. D) All of the above.”
“D,” I admit reluctantly. “Is that bad?”
“Let’s see…” He scrolls and scrolls to get to the bottom of the quiz. “So far you’re maxing out on the possible points.”
