Page 74 of Man Cuffed
“Knock knock,” Meg says.
I give her a grumpy look.
“Come on, Mac. Go with it. The night won’t be any easier when we’re all stuck on a boat together. Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?” I say from between gritted teeth.
“Butch and Jimmy.”
“Butch and Jimmy who?”
“Butch your arms around me and Jimmy a big kiss,” she says, flinging her arms out to the sides.
I laugh in spite of myself. “That was the worst joke I’ve ever heard in my entire life.” But the girl is waiting, so I grab her, lean her over backwards, and give her a big kiss while she shrieks.
When I stand up, suddenly Morris and Julie are right there, watching us.
My smile dies on my face. But Meg’s smile only widens. “Well hello! Who could you be?” She holds out a hand to my asshole brother immediately, before there’s time for an awkward pause to even develop.
Hell, did I pick the right date or what? Meg is magic. Morris and Julie sort of stare at Meg with slack-jawed wonder as she introduces herself and puts them both at ease.
I know I have to say something to them. So I guess now is as good a time as any. “Morris, Julie,” I say stiffly. “How have you been?”
“Oh, fine,” Julie says quickly, inspecting her hands.
“I’d catch you up,” Morris says. “But it’s tricky to summarize ten years, you know?”
And I am speechless. I wasn’t expecting hostility from the guy who broke my life into shards and stomped on them.
“NOW THE BRIDE’S FAMILY!” the photographer yells from up front.
“Oh, that’s you!” Meg chirps. She actually swats me on the ass. “Get up there, honey. Smile wide for Rosie’s pictures.”
I go, only because I can’t wait to be done with this.
The first photo is of my parents, Rosie, and my brother and I on opposite sides. Not a big deal. Although they shoot it eight times anyway. “LOOK UP HERE! LOOK AT THE TREE! SAY ‘POISON PICKLES’!”
“Dude, that is just wrong,” Meg argues from just behind her.
“IT’S UNIQUE!” the photographer cries.
“YOU TERRIFY ME!” Meg shouts and my entire extended family laughs.
“NOW THE TWINS AND THE BRIDE!” the photographer screams.
I feel like screaming, too.
“ONE TWIN ON EITHER SIDE.”
“That’s the pose we need anyway,” Morris says. “My brother wouldn’t stand next to me.”
“Morris,” Julie gasps.
“What? It’s just honest,” my brother growls.
I sidestep my brother and slide over to Rosie’s side. “You look beautiful,” I tell her. “Your makeup is still perfect even after fifty pictures.”
She takes my arm in hers. “Keep it up. Flattery works.”
