Page 106 of Lies and Lullabies
“Don’t mention it.”
There was a silence then, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. I could picture Nixon lying on his bunk, passing the time until the next show. “We’re going to take a little better care of ourselves from now on, okay, dude?”
“Whatever you say, big man. Did you call to find out if I’m drunk? I’m not. Ask me to recite the alphabet backwards, or some shit.”
“Can you?” I challenged. “I’m not sure I can do that sober.”
“Okay, maybe not that.” We both laughed. “I’m not drunk, though,” he said after a minute. “I swear.”
“I didn’t call to spy on you. I was just thinking about how we used to love touring. But these last couple of years have been rough. The label just keeps adding cities. Next year I’m going to push back on them.”
“All right. I won’t argue.”
“What if we toured only in May and September? Maybe there’s somewhere else you’d rather go for the summer. You know, change it up. Keep yourself from hurting.”
“Like a rehab place?” Nixon did not keep the scorn out of his voice. “I hate that shit. Yeah, it’s easy to stay sober when you’re there, but they want to talk to you all fucking day. I’d rather have oral surgery than talk to those fuckers.”
“There might be another way,” I said thoughtfully.
“Yeah? What’s your plan?”
“I’m going to give it some thought, and I’ll let you know. Looks like the jet is ready for me. I’ll see you in a few hours, okay?”
“Glad you got to see Kira,” Nixon said.
“Me too, man. Me too.”
Twenty-Eight
Kira
Two Weeks Later
I checked the mail on the way back from the park. In our lobby mailbox, I found two bills and a large envelope addressed to me. The return address read:John Jonas Smith, The Purple Bus, Somewhere in Missouri.
I smiled to myself as I followed Vivi onto the elevator.
I didn’t open the envelope right away. I had no idea what was inside, but I savored it nonetheless.
I settled Vivi with a snack at the kitchen table, and then I called my brother. “Hi,” I said when he answered his office line. “I know I’m a pest, but I needed to know how you’re feeling.” Adam had had his first radiation treatment at noon.
“I’m fine, Kira. Really. And I’m leaving the office in half an hour.”
“Glad to hear that, honey. I’m making white lasagna for dinner.”
“You are a total babe. See you soon.”
After I hung up, I got comfortable on the sofa and opened the envelope from Jonas. There were several pages. It seemed he’d written me a letter on copy paper, the lines of text dodging pictures that he’d printed or copied onto each page.
Dear Kira,
We just spoke on the phone last night, but there were some things I wanted to show you.
The band had to fly to Seattle for a charity gig, which meant that I got to spend one night in my own apartment. I spent the whole time imagining what it will be like when you and Vivi come out here in October. And look what I pulled out of my desk.
It has that travel-weary look, doesn’t it?
I flippedthe page to see a picture of the envelope I’d tucked into his guitar case all those years ago. The corners were tattered now. I’d penned his name on the front, with swirly letters that looked feminine and hopeful.
