Page 107 of Lies and Lullabies
The sight made me groan aloud. I’d spent many hours of my life wishing I’d never even sent that thing.
Mercifully, he did not photograph the actual letter. Because even a glimpse of the envelope reminded me too much of being twenty and clueless. And hopelessly in love with someone who lived on the other side of the country.
I read on.
You knowI’ll always regret that I didn’t respond to your letter. I can’t change what I did in my knucklehead past. I can, however, sit down and write you now.
And I’ve included pictures, because a certain short person we both love hasn’t learned to read. So here we go.
First up is a picture of my Seattle apartment building. It’s fancy but a little cold. I had a decorator handle all the furniture and lamps and crap. So my unit is comfortable, but a little boring. You’ll have to trust me, because I decided to send you a photo of the pool instead. See? Vivi will love it.
He wasn’t wrong.She’d love the photo and the pool itself and anything else her daddy wanted to tell her.
And so did I. Jonas and I had enjoyed several nice telephone conversations these past two weeks. But holding his letter in my hands was special.
I turned the page to find a pixelated photo of a little European store front.
This one didn’t come out sowell. It’s a restaurant in Munich that serves fondue. I was planning our trip to Munich in August, and I remembered that I’d once been to this place, and that it was fun to dip things in cheese. If you and Vivi travel with me, I propose that we’ll findat leastone unusual restaurant per country. I mean, if you’re coming all the way to Germany, you should eat something regional, no?
Wait. Is fondue French, not German? Is that regional enough? Please weigh in.
Now here is a picture of my bunk on the purple bus. Those are my feet at the end of it. And please notice that big empty space on the wall, which really needs a drawing. In marker or crayon. I’m not picky.
Just to be fair, I’ve enclosed a drawing I did for Vivi of me pushing her on the swings. (Isn’t it lucky that I decided to become a musician instead of an artist?) Please see what you can do to get our kid to send me some artwork. Ethan says that the hotels on our itinerary are pretty good about holding mail for us if it gets there before we do.
I peeked at the final sheet of paper, which was indeed a drawing. Of sorts. There were two stick figures in the foreground. One of them used stick-figure hands to push a stick swing. On the swing was a little stick girl with curly hair.
In the background on a bench was one more stick figure. An arrow pointed at its head, and above the arrow was scrawled “Hot Mama!”
And, sure. The drawing was crap, but the compliment made me purr.
I’ll signoff for now, Kira. But I miss you both, and I think about you all the time.
I wish you were here on this bus with me right now.
I wish eight weeks would hurry up.
And mostly I hope you’ll forgive me for never having written you a letter before now. I plan to write many more of them. This one is a down payment.
You’re it for me, Kira. No matter where I go, I’ll always come back to you.
You’re my purple kitty.
Love you so much,
Jonas
Oh my.
I sat with the letter in my lap for a long time. It was a much different letter than I’d wanted to get from him all those years ago, but so much better in its own way. These weren’t the fruitless yearnings of two young people who had no idea what to do with the connection they’d found. Instead, they were the heartfelt words of a man who was ready to love me for good.
It was more than enough.
I put the drawing aside for Vivi. Then I got up and went to my desk, taking out a piece of stationery. With the pen in my hand, I considered what sort of letter I would write.
Dear Jonas, it should begin.I loved your letter. And I love you. You did not mention whether or not your apartment has a kitchen. Or a cupcake pan. Because if I had those things, I could make you some very macho cupcakes. Please advise…
I smiled to myself. It would be a very different letter than I had written last time. And he would not need to carry it around the world, because he’d have me with him, instead. As it should be.
