Page 20 of Lies and Lullabies
He leaned back on his elbows. “Well, really that depends on him. If he wants to acknowledge the child, the court will grant him visitation, if he asks for it. And you’ll get a shitload of money in child support. Actually, you can get the money whether he wants to acknowledge Vivi or not.”
“I never cared about his money.”
“God, Kiki, why not? If you took a full course load, you could graduate in a year. Seriously, why wouldn’t you take the help that’s coming to you?”
This was another difficult topic, because I’d been sponging off Adam for years. Any child support I’d failed to collect had cost my brother more than it had cost me. But Ididhave a reason for not telling Jonas Smith about Vivi. Actually two reasons.
Just after he’d left Maine, I’d reached out to him, and he had ignored me. That had hurt very badly. I told him how much he meant to me. And in return, he said nothing.
And then there was the guilt. “The pregnancy was my fault, Adam. I told him we were covered, but…” I cleared my throat. I would tell my brother anything, but it was hard to say it out loud. The birth control gel I’d brought with me that night had been purchased during happier times. It was past its expiration date, which I hadn’t checked.
Also, you were supposed to reapply it in between uses. But I hadn’t done that, either.
So I’d born a child with a man who never wanted to hear from me again. And while I knew he deserved to know—and that Vivi deserved to someday meet her father—I hadn’t told him. Yet. I knew I needed to. I just hadn’t made it happen.
“It doesn’t matter,” Adam said. “The law doesn’t care which of you forgot to put the goalie in front of the net. Even if you flat-out lied, any guy who has sex is still responsible for the results.”
“I didn’t flat-out lie.”
He covered one of my hands with his own. “I believe you, Kira. But I’d still love you no matter what.”
I let out a big breath and said a silent prayer of gratitude for my brother. In the silence, I heard the distant thump of a bass line echoing across the lake. “Do you hear that? His band is staying at the lodge. I’m supposed to meet him there tomorrow.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
Honestly, it was tempting. “No. I’ll need you to babysit. Dad will be at the store.” My phone buzzed. “I’m not used to having cell service here.” I checked the screen, and it was a text message. “Oh, jeez. I forgot about Luke. I was supposed to see him this weekend.”
“Did you stand him up?”
“No, it’s nothing like that.” That high school boyfriend who’d enlisted overseas? We were still in touch. We’d blown up as a couple, of course, when he came back from his tour in Afghanistan to find me pregnant with another man’s child. He’d gone back for another tour after that. But we’d stayed in touch, occasionally seeing each other when I came to Maine.
During our most recent phone conversation a few weeks ago, he’d said he wanted to see me and talk to me about something. I’d been curious at first, but now my head was spinning in other directions.
My brother chuckled. “You’re booked for lunch tomorrow. But I guess dinner is still available.”
I fingered my phone. “The message says he wants to take Vivi and me on a bike ride. He borrowed a seat for her.”
“Interesting. That sounds romantic, actually. But now I realize you were holding out for a rock star.”
“Adam, you know that’s not true.”
He grinned. “So, what’s the deal with Luke? I’m pretty sure he’s still into you.”
“He hinted that he’s looking at jobs in Boston.” Luke was a solid guy. He’d managed to come back from overseas with a clear head, and now he was finishing up an engineering degree at the University of Maine. Unfortunately, he’d let me down at the very moment I’d been most vulnerable. I didn’t know if I could ever get past that.
“Please tell me you don’t have any more bombshell secrets,” my brother said. “I enjoy drama, of course, but the fallout is just so messy.”
“Now you know all of my secrets, Adam.”
“Uh-huh. Weren’t you the one telling me earlier that coming up here to visit Dad was really no big deal?”
I laughed. The sound echoed over the water. I heard a fish jump and the gentle lap of the lake beneath us.
“Kira, was he awesome in bed?”
The question took me by surprise. “It was one night, Adam.”
“Oh, honey! Just theonceand you got pregnant?”
