Page 24 of Lies and Lullabies
I’d sat up, putting my arms around him, and he’d pulled me close. “I don’t like to say goodbye.”
“Then we won’t,” he agreed. “I’ll just say this.” He pressed his lips to mine one more time, his tongue making a last slide against mine. When I responded in kind, he made a little sad sound in the back of his throat. He’d gentled the kiss, finishing it with a sigh against my lips.
Then, he’d gotten up, opened the door and disappeared for five long years.
It wasn’t until my own departure at dawn that I’d discovered his guitar sitting there, forlorn.
And it wasn’t until two months later that I’d discovered I was pregnant.
* * *
The moon had risen,lighting the dock and the little beach beside us. In the distance, a loon made its mournful cry.
“Why do you think he didn’t tell you his real name?” my brother asked me suddenly.
For years I had pondered this question. “I have no idea. Probably it’s just something rock stars do.” Although he’d had plenty of chances after getting to know me to come clean about it. That small betrayal still stung. But now there were more terrifying questions in my heart. “What’s going to happen, Adam?”
My brother squeezed my hand. “Nothing we can’t handle, Kira. I mean that. No matter what scary shit comes our way this week, we’re going to be okay.”
“You believe me, don’t you?” he prodded. “I wouldn’t lie. We’ll get through this.”
“Okay,” I agreed, my voice only trembling a little.
Five
Jonas
“You look like shit, boy,” Ethan said as we stretched out after our five-mile run.
“Thanks, Ethan. I love you, too.” I lifted my right foot, catching it behind myself and tugging upwards to stretch out my right quad.
It was a beautiful, blue-skied morning, and we were completely alone. Most places the tour bus stopped, we couldn’t run anywhere except on a hotel treadmill. And even then, getting in a peaceful workout was a crapshoot. Fans interrupted me in the damnedest places. They chased me down the sidewalk. They followed me into the locker room at the gym—even the women.Especiallythe women.
Maine was my idea of heaven.
“Seriously, did you sleep at all? Those bags under your eyes are as big as my grandmother’s. Let’s do some abs.” Ethan dropped to his back on the lawn, his knees bent.
I knelt, holding down Ethan’s feet with one of my knees. “I slept some. And it’s nothing that a little coffee won’t fix.” As Ethan began a set of oblique curls, I eyed the lodge, which was still quiet. “What do you think it would take to get Nixon out here with us?” I asked.
Ethan grunted. “Don’t know.” He did twenty more curls before his set was over. “Whatever that guy is going through, it would take a hell of a lot more than a workout to fix.”
“Couldn’t hurt, though,” I muttered. I couldn’t tell how much Nixon was drinking this week, but he didn’tlookgood. And he hadn’t for quite a while. He didn’t write music anymore, either. “Nixon needs a whole summer in Maine. This shit can cure anything.” It was my turn to curl. I assumed the position and prepared to torture my midsection according to Ethan’s ambitious specifications. I crossed my arms on my chest, engaged my stomach muscles, and began to crunch.
Above me, Ethan shook his giant head. “See, that’s what I don’t get.”
“What?” I huffed.
“You talk about this place like it’s the best thing that ever happened to you. And I gotta think that girl you saw yesterday had something to do with it…”
Shit. Obviously Quinn hadn’t kept her big mouth shut. I gritted my teeth and kept on, determined to make it through the set.
“…And yet, you haven’t come back here in five years. Instead, I gotta listen to you moan about what a lonely fuck you are. I’m startin’ to think you like it that way.”
I had three more curls to do, and it just about killed me. One… Two… I wondered if anyone’s stomach ever broke right in half? Three…done. I draped my arms over my knees, breathing hard. “Why are you trying to piss me off?”
“I’m not.” Ethan lay back, readying himself for another set. “I’m just telling you what I see.”
I brought my weight down on Ethan’s feet with a little more force than was strictly necessary. “Well, thanks for that. I’m not a masochist, Ethan. But sometimes a summer is just a summer. That’s all you get.”
