Page 78 of Steadfast
He rolled his eyes. “You tell her. Jesus.”
“Fine, I will. Today.” I’d kept her as far away as possible while I was puking and sweating. But now that I’d stopped, facing her again was still going to kill me. This recent bit of shitty luck only made me more of a liability to her. Thugs knew her name because of me. A trip to the hospital flattened me. I had money troubles again.
We couldn’t carry on like we had been. And telling her that was going to suck.
Denny turned to go.
“Hey, man—” I stopped him.
He looked over his shoulder.
“Thanks for all your help. I really appreciate it.”
Denny scowled. “Just doing my job.”
Then he disappeared. But not two minutes later Father Peters walked through my door. “Merry Christmas,” he said with the usual happy smile.
“Shouldn’t you be leading mass?” I asked.
He sat down in the visitors’ chair. “Already done. Twice. And last night at midnight. It’s my busy season. I look forward to December 26th. Nothing left to do but eat leftovers.”
“Sounds good.” My appetite was definitely coming back.
“I hear the Shipleys are springing you from this place tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” I wanted to protest this arrangement. But then I tried to picture myself opening up a can of soup and heating it in the microwave. One handed, without straining my surgical wound. “I’m such a disaster.”
Father Peters shook his head. “A disaster is someone who doesn’ttryto take care of himself. Your father springs to mind.”
Oh boy. “You went to see my father?”
The priest nodded. “At first he wasn’t handling this setback very well.”
I laughed. “What a surprise.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t find it funny. When I look at your father I see someone who’s afraid to live. Losses terrify him.”
“He’s not scared. He’s just lazy.” It came out sounding angrier than I meant it to.
The priest rubbed his fingertips together. “I know it looks that way. But it takes courage to want things, and to pursue them. Staying numb means you can never be disappointed.”
Unfortunately I knew a little too much about that.
“But I told your father how we’ll you’re doing. That you go to meetings and help out on Wednesday nights. I get the feeling you haven’t kept him up to date on your progress.”
“I guess I haven’t.” But why would I? He never cared before.
“He was impressed, Jude.”
“But not impressed enough to show up here and drive me home. So I guess I’ll go to the Shipley’s. For a couple days, at least.”
“Good man. You can use this to arrange the details.” He pulled a small box from his pocket.
“A phone?” I couldn’t tell because there was Christmas paper on it. “Is that from Sophie?”
“She said to tell you it’s a gift,” the priest said, handing it over. “She’s worried about you.”
I flinched. “Yeah. I wish she wouldn’t, though. I’ll be all right. And if I’m not, well…” There were so many ways my life could blow up. I didn’t want her to witness any of them.
