Page 116 of The Best Men
Thisis how we end.
Here in front of Hannah and Flip’s closest friends and family, at the edge of Miami.
The officiant clears his throat, takes a step closer to the woman in white and the man in the tux. “We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life’s greatest moments . . .”
Yup, this is when Mark and I were always supposed to end.
Today.
Butafterthe wedding. Not before.
“The joining of two hearts, and two lives,” the officiant continues.
Mark and I could have had a drink at the party, shared a laugh, toasted to strange and fantastic things happening in Florida.
The officiant turns to Hannah. “Do you, Hannah Banks . . .”
Even that last name pierces me.
Mark fucking Banks.
Of all the men in the world.
And I can’t help but wish there were a way.
But that’s foolish. I’ll be an ocean away. It’s not like we’re going to get together for a Friday night fiesta of fucking and bingeingAn Arranged Marriage,then get coffee in the morning. Briefly, I close my eyes, lingering on those images.
Hannah’s voice cuts into my thoughts as she solemnly says, “I do.”
And I return to my own questions.
But what about when the gig is up? Maybe in a year? What if I could see Mark at the same time next year? Have a go at things then?
The officiant looks to Flip. “And do you, Phillipe Dubois, take this woman . . .”
My gaze swings to Mark’s blue irises. His attention is lasered in on his sister, with that intensity that he gives to everything?to negotiation, to Scrabble, to sparring with me.
To touching, and kissing, and talking, and everything.
Andfuck my life. This is not okay. I don’t linger on men. I don’t loll in the past.
But Mark isn’t just some guy.
It’s so surreal. I finally found someone I want to see for longer than a weekend, and now I’m leaving.
My timing sucks.
There’s no future for us. In a year, Mark will be happily attached. Some real estate tycoon will catch his eye, or a chef, or a lawyer. Someone stable, reliable, a guy or a gal with a kid. They’ll blend their families and go play chess together on Saturdays while their kids run around on the playground in Central Park.
My stomach twists at the terrible thoughts right as Flip utters the most important words of his life.
“I do.”
All around me are tears and joy as the officiant beams and then declares, “You may kiss the bride.”
A collective sigh of happiness falls over Star Island as Flip kisses Hannah, and Mark’s eyes land on mine for a split second before he looks away once more.
Yeah, he’ll be taken in a year, and I’ll still be . . . well, just me.
