Page 90 of The Best Men
Brett: Define “enjoying.” It better not be that you read some new how-stuff-works book while watching the market.
I snicker. I haven’t even opened a book since arriving at Disney World for Horny Adults. And I’m not going to tell him exactly how I’m whiling away the hours.
Mark:Clubbing, Brett. I’ve been clubbing.
It’s the truth, but he’ll never believe me. I click to Valencia’s text next.
Valencia:Did you know Blackbeard likes to smell my hair? As I tell Zoe, my coconut shampoo is definitely catnip, since it drives her crazy too.
Mark:I guess if I ever want to turn on my cat, I’ll know the trick now.
I’m about to shut down the app when I spot a text at the bottom of the names. And fuck, if it doesn’t make my heart leap.
Asher:Captain Filthy Mind . . . or should I call you Sleeping Babe? (Incidentally, you’re still smoking hot when you’re snoring because now I know all the dirty thoughts running through your dreams are about me.) Alas, duty calls. The groom has corralled me for a drink. I’ll be back a little after midnight. But I have my heart and dick set on 33A . . .
—The superhot wingman
And my chest officially flutters. From the nicknames, from the message, from the everything. I’m fucked now in a whole new way.
Especially since I know I shouldn’t respond.
But I do anyway.
Mark:I don’t snore.
Then I get out of bed, head to Asher’s room, and set down my phone on . . .
I stop in my tracks as the thought finishes, hitting me hard . . .my side of the bed.
Well, it has been my side for the last few nights.
When in Rome, and all.
I take off my glasses and slip under the covers, picturing 33A. And B. And C.
But apparently, hitting multiple list items in a twenty-four-hour period, plus parenting, plus managingmyparents, and seeing my ex, tires me all the fuck out. I close my eyes. Just for a minute.
I see the surface of the swimming pool behind my eyelids. I hear Asher’s laugh, and Rosie’s giggle. I float along the surface.
The door creaks somewhere in the corner of my mind. I flip to my side, but don’t open my eyes.
29
A LITTLE APPRECIATION HERE
ASHER
There’s no hot sleeping dad in the den when I return. The house is dead quiet. So I head toward the guest house where a light burns in the living room.
Mark isn’t on the couch, though.
And he’s not in his bed.
Hmm.
I find him in the last place I look. But it’s also the best place. He’s inmybedroom, lying on his side of the bed, possibly reading a book. Huzzah!
“Hi honey, I’m home,” I say. And then I want to kick myself. I can hear Flip’s voice in my head, telling me it’s dangerous to toy with Mark.
