Page 41 of Must Love Hockey
He stares at me. Like he can’t imagine that could be true. But I stare right back at him. Unwavering.
After a long moment, he steps past me and walks down the street in the direction of his apartment.
It takes me a second to snap out of it. I hurry inside the building.
The moment I get inside the apartment, my mother pounces. “Wherewereyou last night?”
“Oh geez. Not you, too,” I grumble.
“Charles was out of his mind,” she says. “He’s worried about you.”
“That is his problem, not mine,” I say firmly. “Seriously, Mom. I broke up with him, and he has got to let me go.”
“He won’t if he’s smart,” she returns, scrubbing our little dining table with a sponge. “You’re perfect for him. You’re the very best he can do.”
I whirl around, surprised. “Thank you, I think. That’s usually what you say to me about him.”
“Also true,” she sniffs.
I laugh out some of the tension in my chest. “It’s over, Mom. Charles and I were in a rut so deep we couldn’t see over the sides. I need to live a little. He could, too.”
“But he works so hard,” she points out.
“No kidding! But that’s hischoice. He works much harder at his job than he does at being with me.”
My mother makes atsk tsksound and shakes her head. Her dark, glossy hair is sprinkled with gray. “Don’t be short-sighted,” she says. “Hard work builds character. Fun doesn’t last.”
I don’t argue back, because there’s really no point. I go into my room and shut my door, flopping onto the bed the same way I’ve been doing since we moved into this apartment fifteen years ago.
Now I’m alone with my thumping heart. I hate conflict. I hate fighting with Charles and defending myself to my mother. Closing my eyes, I picture James. His boyish smile. His wavy hair, which is a different texture than mine. His sculpted arms flexing as he—
Okay, that daydream got hot and heavy fast.
I never intended to hop into bed with another man just a few days after my big breakup. And I’d felt sleazy running into Charles while holding James’s hand. Like I’d done something wrong.
But I haven’t. It’s just hard to live your best life with other people judging. And I realize now that there were a lot of aspects to my relationship with Charles that I accepted without question.
I know better now. I also know I don’t want a new relationship just yet. Not really.
But then there’s James. What am I going to do about James?
THIRTEEN
YOU KNOW THIS FOR A FACT?
James
I’m in Seattle. The guys love it here, because the hotel is nice and the food is good. We lost our game in double overtime, but the team doesn’t seem too broken up about it.
“One point instead’a two points,” O’Doul had said. “We’ll get the next one.”
Now they’re carousing in the hotel bar, happy as a flock of ducks in Prospect Park and twice as loud.
The only guy brooding over his phone is me. We fly back to New York on Saturday night after our game in Vegas, but Emily and I are having trouble finding a time to go out again. I can’t help wondering if running into her lovelorn ex is the reason.
“Want to shoot pool?” Castro asks, nudging me in the elbow. “You can be on my team.” He’s been working pretty hard on his game lately.
“Is Heidi Jo our opponent?” I ask without looking up.
