Page 17 of Love Lessons
“Okay,” Charli says slowly. “Is this a date, though? Like he’s hoping to get back together?”
I shake my head. “No, it’s not really like that. He asked me as friends—that’s the vibe I got. He said he thought I might enjoy it because the dresses will be amazing.”
“Are you going to go?” Charli demands. “Did you say yes? Or are you making him sweat it?”
Of course you said yes, my critical voice pipes up.You’d shine his shoes with your tongue if he asked.
“I told him it sounded like fun,” I admit. “And think of the eye candy. You know I can’t resist a man in a tux.”
Charli laughs. “Okay, fair. Neither can I, as it turns out.”
“See? What was I supposed to do? I told him I’d look at dresses in Italy. I may have bragged a little about Neil’s villa. I hope Neil’s ears weren’t burning.” Danforth’s reaction, though, wasn’t as impressed as I’d hoped. He’d said,“Oh, I love Italy,”before telling me about a trip to Rome he’d taken the summer before.
Apparently, he’s traveled quite a bit since we broke up. I felt stung just hearing about it, which is silly. His whole visit left me feeling off-kilter. It’s just like Danforth to turn up before I was ready to see him. And even as he stood there in my living room—a place I’d often fantasized that he would be—there was a good dose of resentment mixed in with my surprise and satisfaction.
“When did you say this gala was?” Charli pulls out her phone. “The solar-power thing sounds familiar. Neil might be going to that.”
“Really?” I perk up. “Does that mean you’re going? That would be fun.”
She scrolls through her calendar for a minute. “He’s scheduled the Urban Solar Initiative Gala in August.” She looks up. “Is that the one?”
“I think so! Well, now Ihaveto go. What are we wearing?”
“Haven’t thought about it,” Charli says. “I’m not sure I’m going.”
“Why wouldn’t you?” I demand as the line moves forward. “We’ll try on dresses in Milan. Mine has to be perfect. I’m going to show Danforth what he’s been missing. Besides, picture the crowd at this gala—all those socialites who need our services!”
“Good point, sister.” Charli cracks a smile. “All right, I’ll ask Neil about it later. If we ever get to the front of this line.”
We inch forward another three feet. But my head is still back in my Brooklyn apartment last night, where I’d been trying to sort out my feelings about Danforth and his sudden appearance. “Isn’t it odd that the one time I played it cool with my ex was the time he got in a taxi to find me?”
“It’s educational,” Charli agrees. “Maybe you can renegotiate the power in this relationship. You’re different now. He’s different now. You said you still have feelings for him, but that doesn’t mean you have to go right back to the way things were.”
“True.” Although I’m not convinced. Danforth has a strong personality.
“How did he look? Did you get all the sex tingles?”
“He looked great,” I say, answering the first question, but dodging the second.
Danforth is a very attractive man. He’s tall, with smooth, coppery skin, gleaming dark hair and eyes, and straight white teeth. We had an accounting class together my first term at CUNY, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. Even in a Gap T-shirt, he’d looked more suave than any other guy I’d ever met.
And his big brain was at least as attractive to me as his intelligent eyes and perfectly styled hair. I was drawn to his confidence like a fly to honey. He wasn’t afraid to set his sights on the best things in life.
He’s still that guy, too. Bright eyes. Animated hands as he spoke to me about his new job at Chase Bank where he’s on a team who hopes to revolutionize the way public transportation is financed.
I had listened very attentively. It was weird, though. I’d forgotten how it is between us—that a portion of my attention is always performance art. I’d forgotten how long he could talk about his own interests without asking after mine. He freely used vocabulary that I couldn’t be expected to understand. “My team will be trying to save spread over LIBOR by leveraging underutilized assets,” he’d said, while I’d stood smiling at him in my apartment, wondering whether my makeup was still intact.
And it was hard work finding an opening so I could tell him about my own fledgling business. I wanted so badly to impress him. And maybe I did because he said, “That’s boss, babe,” when I told him about my growing circle of clients. “The scions of New York won’t know what hit them.”
Then he invited me to that party. And I was eager to say yes, because I still crave his approval.
The truth is that I want another chance with him. I want him to see what he gave up when he cast me aside.
“So how do you want to play this,” Charli asks as we finally approach the doors of the sample sale. “Do we divide and conquer? Or we could stick together.”
“I think I’ll head straight for the handbags because those get picked over the quickest. Do you want to do a lap and see what else looks hot?”
“Totally!” Charli smiles like a kid on Christmas morning. “Let’s turn up the volume on our phones so we can communicate.”
