Page 29 of Love Lessons
Ian: More tasteful than me in my underwear? No such thing.
She texts back an eye-roll emoji. That’s all.
I open Google Translate and look up “countess” in Italian. Then I send one more text.
Ian: Just realized your new nickname is contessa, because when in Rome…
“I see the lake!” Heidi Jo squeals. “There it is!”
I turn to look out the window. “Damn, that’s really something.” I already knew that Como is a big lake in the shape of a Y, so you can’t ever see the whole thing at once. But I was unprepared for the grand villas peeking out at the water’s edge, or for the rolling green mountains rising up from the distant shore. I can also see a marina full of sailboats, their masts poking upward toward the deep blue sky. And everywhere else there’s the rich green of midsummer dotted with bright flowers in bloom.
Italy is basically heaven. “Vacation mode engaged,” I announce. “Who wants first crack at paddle boarding?” I’ve already arranged for a rental company to drop off a pair of boards for an extended rental.
Every hand in the limo goes up.
This trip is going to be a blast.
* * *
Two hourslater I’m in my vacation uniform—swim trunks and sunglasses—standing on a private dock, drinking an Italian lager, and watching Heidi Jo race her husband on a paddle board. “You’re a beast, Heidi Jo!” I hoot. “Cut ’im off! You got this!”
She goes for it, steering her paddle board toward his like a roller derby queen on attack. But Castro has fifty pounds of muscle on her, so he pulls ahead.
Frustrated, Heidi Jo takes the nuclear option, jumping onto her husband’s board and grabbing him around the hips. “It’s a tie!” she shrieks as the board tips, and they both pitch toward the lake.
Castro has fast reflexes, which he uses to safely ditch both their paddles as they plunge together into the water.
Laughing, I almost choke on my beer.
They pop back up above the surface a moment later. “Gotcha!” Heidi Jo yells. “I win!”
“You little…” I don’t even know how that sentence was supposed to end, because she grabs him and kisses him.
“All right, kids, get a room,” I have to yell after a minute. “Your paddles are floating away, guys.”
Castro retrieves their gear, and they both climb up onto the dock. “We’re going inside. Nap time!”
“Yeah, yeah.” I can only imagine whatnap timemeans in this context. “So who’s next? Anyone?” I turn around and survey the patio above me. It’s an elaborate stonework terrace with a hot tub and a dozen wooden lounge chairs wearing cushions in white and orange stripes. Drake has hired some staff for our stay, so a young Italian dude brought me this beer a little while ago.
Like I said, heaven.
Three of my friends are up on that terrace, but Charli and Drake seem to be napping. Only Vera is watching me through a set of classy, mirrored sunglasses that make it difficult to read her expression.
Her little red bathing suit, however, is not hard to read at all. It’s skimpy in the best possible way, with a V-neck that shows off her shapely body.
I’m a big fan. “Hey, Vera! Let’s go. I haven’t seen you on the paddle board yet.”
“I don’t think so.” She shakes her head. “That’s not my thing.”
Like I’m going to give up that easy? “Why did you risk death to fly here, then? Was it only for the shopping?”
She puts down her book with an angry thump. “I’m not falling for your tricks, Crikey. You’re going to push me in the water.”
“No way.” I set down my beer. “Scout’s honor. Come here and try the paddle board. It’s as easy as standing up.”
She rises from the chair, a wary expression on her face. “If this ends in my humiliation, you’d better not take a photo.”
“I don’t even have my phone. Now get down here and paddle.”
