Page 146 of The New Guy
“I love my job. But the hours are weird. And now my sister is leaving New York, so I’m going to have childcare problems again. Plus, you’re not there. So…”
I stop breathing.
“…I’ve started looking for a new job. New York City isn’t a hotbed of athletic opportunity, so I’ve been looking at university jobs. All over the place. I don’t know where I’ll land.”
“Oh…” I’m trying not to get excited. “I hear Colorado has some good schools.”
He rubs the back of his neck. “How well do you like Denver?”
“It’s actually Boulder. Which is one of the most livable, beautiful towns in the world. Red rocks, hiking. Craft beer. Biking. I bet there’s even a horseback riding camp around there somewhere.”
He snorts.
“…I have a three bedroom house with a fireplace that would be fun to make out in front of. That’s not verified yet, for obvious reasons. The furnished bedroom has a king-sized bed. There’s another room at the front of the house with a window seat, at a good distance from the, uh, grown-ups room. And even a guest room which might accommodate a sister from time to time. Or even a set of ridiculous grandparents.”
He sits down on the edge of the bed, a few feet away from me, and puts his head in his hands.
“Gavin,” I say quietly. “If you would ever consider putting Boulder into your travel plans, now would be a good time to say so. I would have asked you this question already. But when I brought up living together before, you definitely weren’t interested.”
“That’s when we were sharing a wall.” He flops backward suddenly onto the bed. “I spent all of August waiting for you to come to your senses and invite me out for a visit.”
My heart skips a beat. “Too bad I’m such a dumbass. If I thought you would have gotten on that plane, I would have flooded your mailbox with invitations.”
He rolls to the side to look up at me. “See, I would have swallowed the last bit of my pride if you told me you couldn’t live without me. Maybe that sounds reckless. But I needed a sign, Hudson.”
Ohhhhh shit. He needs a sign.I’m so bad at this. “I…”
He waits.
“ILOVEyou,” I wheeze.
Gavin’s eyes go wide. “Are you okay?”
“Yes! I’m fucking fine. But I love you. I want you. I need you. Please come to Colorado. Come for Christmas,” I beg. “Please. No—that’s too far away. Come for Thanksgiving.”
His expression softens. “I want to. Tell me this is a rational thing to do.”
“I can’t, because I don’t know how to be rational with you. Since the day we met, I’ve wanted you all to myself. And that’s never going to stop.”
He reaches out a hand and finally,finallytouches me. He plants his palm at my cheek and strokes his thumb through the stubble over my lip. And it feels so good that my skin heats in appreciation. “I love you, too. You matter to me,” he whispers. “So much. I tried to get over you, but it didn’t work out.”
I reach for him, placing my hands tentatively on the T-shirt inside his jacket. And apparently I have a lot more to say. I’m like a broken dam. “I can’t close my eyes without seeing your face. I can’t climb into bed without wishing you were there. I was never really living until I had you. And I’ve never said that to anyone. Ever. Any of it.”
“Jesus, Hudson.” He pulls away, only to shake off his jacket, kick off his shoes, and then belly flop onto the bed. “That was so hard for you, wasn’t it?”
“You haveno idea.”
His clear gray eyes blink back at me. “Don’t be afraid to feel things. That’s what we’re here for.”
“I’ll try, baby. Because you’re my number one. I’ve got no pride left. I’ll give it all to you.”
He reaches over to play with my hair. “I want to kiss you now. But I don’t want to stop you from talking. We’ve been needing to talk for so damn long.”
“Yeah, that’s true. But may I also point out that I’m leaving town tomorrow at nine? We can talk on the phone, baby. The kissing, though…”
He gives me a secretive smile. “Pretty smart for a dumb jock.” Then he rises up on his elbows. Locking eyes with me, he slowly closes the distance.
I need it too badly to wait. I haul him onto my body, and he sinks down with a moan. His kiss is generous, and I wrap my arms around him, at long last.
