Page 17 of Good as Gold
MATTEO
“She’s right, you know,” I tell the baby after Leila leaves. “Everything is fine. Your mama will be back tomorrow, right after breakfast. If you sleep through the night, I’ll let you watch some trash TV in the morning. I heardSesame Streetis your favorite.”
Micah sighs again.
“Leila is pretty smart, yeah? I’ve always thought so. Shoulda called her an hour ago.”
He’d been so fussy all evening. But the moment I’d handed him to Leila, the little guy had relaxed. Like,finally, someone knows what she’s doing.
It just figures that the key to getting a baby to sleep is having the confidence that the baby will sleep. Life generally works that way.
And lately, confidence is in short supply. Micah probably understood this on a gut level—that his life was in the hands of someone who does not have his shit together.
But now his eyes are closed. Really closed. He’s breathing slowly and deeply. I keep rocking for another few minutes. I don’t want to fuck this up.
Besides, he’s so cute like this. His round face is peaceful.
My mind wanders, and suddenly, I’m picturing Sean’s face. That happens a lot lately—my dead friend pops into my thoughts, and I feel a little stab of pain.
Sean was a great dad. When Lissa was a baby, he held her all the time, often in a sling on his chest. He made it look easy, like so many other things. We even took her to the bar like that occasionally. We’d enjoy a quick pint while Lissa cooed at the women standing nearby.
I’m grateful Sean got those moments with her. But now he won’t get to see her graduate from high school. Or meet her prom date. Or help her pick a college…
I swallow the lump in my throat and stand up slowly. Micah sleeps on.
Supporting his little body so he doesn’t jostle, I carefully lay him down on his back in the crib.
I’m actually holding my breath as he adjusts his head on the sheet, screwing his eyes shut and wiggling his chubby arms into little goal posts.
But he doesn’t wake up.
Stealthily, I pull my phone out of my pocket and take a dimly lit pic of the sleeping baby. Then I text it to the family chat.
Matteo
Took me a while, but I got there.
By the time I turn off the lamp and tiptoe out of the room, my phone is already lighting up with congratulations.
Damien
Wow, stud! So impressed.
Alec
There’s twenty bucks I’m never getting back. For sure I thought one of you would have to go over there and bail him out.
Benito
We used to be impressed when Matteo seduced the girls. Now we’re congratulating him on getting a baby to sleep. Is that progress? Or are we just not cool anymore?
Alec
Speak for yourself. I’m the coolest.
When I get downstairs, I’m relieved to find that Leila is still here. In fact, she’s in the kitchen opening a bottle of wine. “All good?” she asks.
“Yeah, thanks to you. Don’t rat me out to my brothers, okay?” I show her the chat, and she laughs.
