Prologue
FIFTEEN YEARS AGO: EAGAR KANES
Ihate staring at a wall. Especially half-naked with a smarting behind.
I’ve been standing here for a long while. Of course, any amount of time spent standing, staring at a wall, will feel like a long time, but I know I have been standing here for at least an hour. My feet have become restless, and the ache in my backside has become more of a nuisance. After a spanking, the sting lasts for some time; the length of time depends on the implement used, but then the sting turns into an ache, the same ache muscles get when they’ve been worked over. The ache is more annoying than the sting, in my opinion.
“Fidgeting is not the way to get out of the corner. You’re meant to be thinking,” Arcade says from behind his desk.
I know that.
I would snark at him, but that would not go over well. I’d be right back over his knee. Instead, I find the calm place within myself, the one Arcade helped me find long ago and I’m able to still my aching legs. Don’t know how much time passes after that, but I finally hear the words, “Come here, please.”
I move to stand before my husband’s desk and keep hold of myshirt as I had been instructed. Humility is part of it. Hard to explain that bit; all I can say is that it is.
“Turn around, please.” Biting my lip, my heart pounding in my throat, I turn around so my husband can look upon the artwork he painted on my backside earlier. “Is this what you wish me to see as I drive my cock into you? Evidence of your disobedience?”
“N-no, sir,” I say, my voice wavering.
“Turn back ‘round, return your clothing proper, and take a seat.”
Damn. He’s not finished with me.
When I’d returned here, to the barracks, after bringing Tristan back to his mother at the palace, he was waiting for me—even opened the door to our chambers before I could so much as touch the door handle. I couldn’t look at him and stood there waiting for him to speak, my eyes downcast. “What is the real reason I’m about to spank you, Eagar?” he asked me.
“The real reason? Not my muddy clothing? I know you don’t like me traipsing around the palace that way unless I’ve been out on the field. In which case I’m to come directly here, and—"
“—that was not an invitation to spout off our rules, Eagar. You could have cleaned Tristan and yourself at the palace. I would have been none the wiser, yet you chose to come here. Why do you think that is?”
“You said you’d be gone for the day. I didn’t think you’d be here. I wasn’t trying to get caught,” I’d explained.
“Maybe not consciously, but I have a good feeling if I hadn’t come back, there would be other evidence of this mishap left for me to find.”
When he said it, I knew he was right. I hadn’t given much thought to what I’d do with the dirty clothes. I most likely would have tossed them in the laundry bin—on top—where he’d see them plain as day. Not to mention the baths would not have been cleaned until the next day—even if he missed the clothing, he wouldn’t miss that.
It’s textbookbratting. And I am not typically prone to brat behavior.
I know this, yet I still don’t understand myself in the way I wouldlike—there are no books on people like me in Markaytia. “I know it’s hard for you to ask for a spanking, angel,” he said, his voice softer.
“I don’t want a spanking,” I complained and sighed. It’s the strangest conundrum. I never want chastisement, but always feel a world better after it. I avoid it at all costs, but it never ceases to amaze me—the ways in which I’ll seek it if I need it—even ways unbeknownst to myself.If I know this, why is asking so hard?
“I see. Your undisguised rule-breaking is evidence that you, my love, need a spanking. You’re all wound up. Come with me.”
I followed him to his office. My eyes widened when I saw what awaited me, and my heart raced. Several implements from hairbrush to punishment strap, laid out in a neat row side by side. “Arcade! You can’t use all of those on me. What I did wasn’tthatbad.”
“I could if I thought you need it, but I have not decided which I will use. You know I always want to be prepared. I didn’t mean to scare you, love.”
I calmed down. Arcade has never been unfair; I should have known he wasn’t about to start now.
“And yes, breakingthatrule wasn’tthatbad; however, there is something bigger going on and I plan to deal with you properly,” he said with serious eyes.
Arcade chose the hairbrush. I hate that Gods-awful thing if anyone wants to know. He bared my bottom and put me over his knee in the most uncomfortable position possible. My toes couldn’t reach the ground, and I was unequally weighted, so I felt like I was falling forward. I put my hands out in front of me to catch my weight, but he wouldn’t even permit that.
“Give me your hands, Eagar.”
“Arcade,please.”
“Now.”