Page 57 of A Brat's Tale
“Don’t look like that. This is for your own good. People care about you.”
“That’s what everyone keeps saying. Why doesn’t it feel like it?”
“It will. You have grown so much in a short time; this will be part of your growth. This year you will work on your inner self.”
“You think it’s only going to take me a year too, don’t you?”
“Why wouldn’t it? You did well in school.”
“Because I had no other choice.”
“What makes you think you have one now?”
Right. That is my everlasting problem, thinking I have a choice. I never have. I was born into royalty. Not that anyone will feel sorry for me, we get a lot, others don’t get, but we are loaded with responsibility. I change the subject. “How’s Lucca?”
“He is well. He’ll be married next Spring. We hope the Prince will bring you home.”
Home. Where is my home now? I sigh. “I doubt it, sir. Until this thing is resolved with Aldrien, which could take years, him traveling with me is unlikely.”
Father nods. “I know the Gods did not give you an easy life, but it will be a full life. Even if you had become Warlord, your life would have been filled with travesty and pain. I raised you for that. You can dothis.”
I almost question if this is my father; he’s so supportive and full of words. Arcade Kanes has never been one for many words, not with me. “I will continue to make you proud, Father.”
“Good. Now trousers down and over that desk.”
There’s the Father I know. “What? But why?”
“You know why, and you know how much I like asking twice.”
The answer to that is—not at all. I walk over to the desk and pull my trousers down, but I don’t know why. Even when I lay over the table and hear the jangle of his belt, I still don’t know. It’s not till he starts, the first two stripes from his belt and the sting of it connects to my nervous system, that something comes to me. Tears prick my eyes and I do, I know what this is for. “I gave up.”
“Who did you give up on?”
“Myself.”
He continues, and the strapping starts to get intense. Father’s spankings are like that. A short warm-up, then straight to an intensity that makes you feel like you want to die, but then it’s over. Very business-like. I can’t keep quiet; I have to cry out. I grip the desk for dear life and plead with him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I can do better, sir.”
He pauses. “A Warlord cannot give up on himself no matter what. Or it’s over.”
I nod. “Yes, sir. But it’s lonely up here.”
“That is the wrong thing to focus on. You have a task. Focus on your task. Get the work done, achieve the goal. Find peace in your own company.”
He finishes strong with ten sharp ones, five to the back of eachthigh—I’m going to feel those awhile—and then it’s done. Even though my backside is on fire, I stand feeling better than I have in weeks. Carefully I pull up my trousers as he looks me over. “That’s better. We will stay the week and then we must return.”
Father’s lessons are short and to the point, but they’re effective. As a boy, I just thought him cruel. I’m getting to know a different side of my father. “I’m glad you will stay to visit.”
We head back to the bedroom, where Corrik and Papa are sitting at the table, sipping fine Elven wine. I have no doubt they heard what just happened. I’m almost foolish enough to attempt sitting on the hard chair beside Corrik, instead, I stand behind him resting my hands on his shoulders, while my backside stings. “Oh, thank the Heavens. You look a world better, Tristan,” Papa says.
I twist my lips. “Did everyone think I looked horrible?”
“Yes,” Corrik says. “I did spank him before you came, but there wasn’t time for the full strapping he needed.”
“You’re all terrible, talking about me like that,” I complain, but it feels good. I’m happy to have two of my parents here. “How’s Mother?”
“She wanted to come, but traveling with the army would have been too much for her. She’s not used to it. She is good and sends all her love. We sent word; she will know you’re safe.”
The visit with my parents is a new experience. It seems now that I am married, Father is treating me more like an adult, keeping me in confinement aside. He speaks to me like an adult and tells me what to do less (for him), leaving that for Corrik. I get the sense, now that I have a husband, Father can relax and be more of a confidant. He’s stillFather, there’s a line we don’t cross, but he’s a relaxed version of himself. I ask Papa about it when we’re alone. “Your father knows he has to let go. You’re not his little boy anymore, but it’s been hard for him. This is him trying.”
