Page 34 of Nanny for the Single Dad Cowboy
She hesitates, then nods, small and shaky. “Okay. I’ll try. I’ll be nice and do my best to get along with her.”
Relief loosens the knot in my chest. I kiss the crown of her head, breathing in her scent. “That’s all I ask, Bug. Just try. She might surprise you.”
She leans against me, her small weight pressing into my side, and it damn near undoes me.
“Thanks, Bug,” I murmur into her hair. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”
She settles down, her breath evening out, her small hand wrapping around my arm like she’s anchoring herself. I keep still, letting her weight sink into me. The fight’s burned out of her, leaving only the raw edges of a kid who misses what she can’t have back.
I stare at the floor, the pile of crayons under her desk, anywhere but the door. Because on the other side of it, Tessa’s waiting—probably replaying Daisy’s words in her head, wondering if she made a mistake stepping into our lives at all.
And here’s the truth I can’t say out loud: my girl softening, agreeing to give Tessa a chance? That terrifies me more than the tantrum did. Because once Daisy lets her in, once she gets used to the sound of Tessa’s voice in this house, once she starts depending on her…
I’ll have to be the bastard who rips her away when it’s over.
I press a kiss to the top of Daisy’s head and shut my eyes, letting the ache settle in my chest like a stone dropped in water.
The more we let her in, the harder it’ll be to push her out.
And God help me, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it.
15
TESSA
The air in my room feels heavy, suffocating, and no matter how hard I blink, I can’t erase the memory of Daisy’s tantrum yesterday. Her shrill voice cutting through the walls of the ranch house, “You’re not my mom! You can’t tell me what to do!”, tears brimming in those innocent eyes before she stormed off.
All because of me.
I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing I could rewind, so I could’ve said the right thing, done the right thing. But the truth gnaws at me: I don’t know what the right thing even is. I’m not her mom. God, I’m not cut out to be anyone’s mom. I hate that she even had to compare me to that.
Dragging myself out of bed, I pad across my room, arms wrapped around myself protectively, like I can hold my insides together. The closet door gapes open, half my clothes already spilling out in messy piles. I stare at the space on the rack where a suitcase could fit, and my throat tightens. Maybe it’s time to stop pretending that I can do this, that I belong here.
My fingers hover on a hanger, ready to pull it down and start folding. Just pack and go. The thought makes my stomach twist, because as much as I want to believe leaving would solve everything, I know it won’t. Out there, Richard is still waiting. Out there, I’m a target. I hate to admit it, but Iron Stallion may be the only place I’m safe, and yet here I am, ready to sabotage myself because I don’t know how to handle a little girl’s tears.
I sink onto the floor, head in my hands, staring at the open closet like it’s daring me to make a choice. Stay or run? Try or give up? And I don’t know which hurts more.
My phone buzzes on the nightstand, the vibration loud in the quiet room. For a second, panic spikes in me, the irrational, familiar fear that it could be Richard somehow finding his way through the line. But when I get up and see the name flashing, relief softens the tightness in my chest. It’s just my best friend.
I swipe the call open. “Hey.” My voice is hoarse, heavy with everything I haven’t said.
“Tess? You sound like crap. What’s going on?” Her voice is bright but sharp, as if she can see through the mess of my thoughts even from states away.
I flop backward on the mattress, staring at the ceiling. “I messed up, Si.”
“With what? The ranch? The kid? Jace?”
“All of the above,” I mutter. My throat burns, but the words keep spilling. “Daisy had this… this meltdown yesterday. Over homework. And I—I couldn’t fix it. I just made it worse. And now she’s avoiding me, and Jace probably thinks I’m some useless city girl who shouldn’t have set foot on this ranch. Maybe I should just leave and prove him right.”
Sienna sighs, patient but pointed. “Okay, first of all, you’re not useless. Second, you knew this wasn’t going to be easy. Kids are complicated. And third, where exactly do you plan on going if you leave? You want to walk straight back into Richard’s arms? Because last I checked, he’s still looking for you.”
I press my palms over my eyes, trying to block out the reminder. But she’s right. She’s always right. “I know I can’t leave. But what am I supposed to do about the situation here? I can’t stay if there is no work for me to do.”
There’s silence on her end, a weighted pause before she says, softer now, “Tess, you’re safe there. You just have to let yourself believe it. Stop punishing yourself for not being perfect.”
“Yeah. Easy for you to say.”
Before she can reply, a sharp knock rattles my door. I jolt upright, heart racing. Sienna’s muffled voice is still in my ear, but my whole body goes still at the sound.
