Page 22 of Give Me You
A grunt escapes me, and I shake my head hard enough to make myself dizzy. "How stupid is that," I mutter out loud. "I don't have any feelings for Akira. Liam makes sense, but Akira?"
Liam I've been sleeping with for months. Liam who holds me after sex, who purrs to calm me down, who checks on me when I'm stressed. That makes sense. That follows a logical progression. But Akira? One night. One heat spike that wasn't even my choice. And now I'm imagining him touching me, looking at me like I'm something precious. It's ridiculous.
But the image won't leave my head. The way he looked at me last night, the intensity in his eyes. The way he got angry on my behalf when he found out someone had drugged me.
Desperate for a distraction, I pull out my phone. This is stupid, I know it's stupid, but I need to talk to someone who isn't directly involved in my life. Someone who can give me perspective without judgment. I open the group forum, the chat room where ClassyO exists separate from Emilio Ardyn, club owner and pregnant Omega, trying to hold his life together.
My fingers hover over the keyboard for a moment before I type.
ClassyO: What does it mean when you start seeing an Alpha everywhere but he's not really there?
The responses start immediately. Lots of them start typing, the three dots appearing and disappearing as they craft their answers.
Razorfox: Who's the lucky Alpha?
MacNCheese: Are you seeing hallucinations or fantasies? Because those are wildly two different things.Several laugh emojis are added after that.
Coolblue: ClassyO, I think you're in love.
No. Absolutely not. I type back quickly, my thumbs moving fast.I'm not and it's a problem. We had sex, and it doesn't mean anything but…
The sentence trails off because I don't know how to finish it. I'm not sure if I'm looking for someone to agree with me or tell me something I already suspect. Maybe both. Maybe neither.
Strawberrybubbles: That usually means your body has already decided for you. I didn't imagine my Alphas when we weren’t together, not really, but even when I was telling myself I wasn't enough, I'd lean into their touch or look for them.
How many times have I found myself thinking about Liam when he's not around? How many times have I caught myself looking for him in a crowd? And now Akira is starting to creep into those thoughts too.
Razorfox: Why are you asking? Did you find an Alpha worthy of your standards?
My lip catches between my teeth as I debate whether to tell them. These people know me as ClassyO, the username I created when I was eighteen. They know my struggles, my fears, my victories. But they don't know the full extent of what I'm dealing with. Still, the anonymity makes it easier to be honest.
ClassyO: He's the father.
The weight lifts off my shoulders the moment I hit send. Admitting it, even to strangers on the internet, makes it more real. Makes it something I can't ignore or pretend isn't true. I add more to that statement, the words flowing now that I've started.
ClassyO: It was never meant to be him, but it is and I can't tell him because I don't know what he'll do. They always want to take over.
CoolBlue: You have to tell him! He'll find out when the kid's born anyway. Babies tend to smell similar to their parents until they come into their own scent.
My hands start shaking as I process what that means. I quickly type back,I'll think about it,and shove my phone into my pants. But the damage is done. The truth I've been avoiding crashes down on me all at once.
Standing at the window, I stare out at the city below. People walk the streets, living their normal lives, completely unaware of the crisis happening in my apartment. All of my careful planning to be a father is about to go up in flames. I don't have a scent, which means the baby will absolutely take on some part of Liam's. Liam will know the moment he meets him. There will be no hiding it, no pretending the father is someone else.
"I have to tell him, don't I?" I ask out loud to the empty room.
No matter how much I want to do this alone, no matter how hard I've worked to maintain my independence, biology won't let me keep this secret. Liam will find out. And when he does, how will he react? Will he be happy? Angry? Will he try to take the baby from me? Will he use it to control me?
I flop back onto the bed, my carefully chosen outfit to cover the lingerie wrinkling beneath me. My body curls up in a small ball, instinct making me want to protect myself and the baby. The panic rises in my chest again, that same suffocating feeling from earlier. But this time, there's no Liam here to purr and calm me down. Just me and my thoughts and the impossible situation I've created.
"I can fix this," I repeat to myself, the words becoming a mantra. "I can fix this. I can fix this. I can fix this."
But even as I say it, I'm not sure I believe it anymore.
Emilio
Eventually, I gather myself and pull on a suit I pulled out. Bright pink, the kind of bold statement piece that demands attention and makes it impossible to fade into the background. The fabric is smooth and expensive, tailored perfectly to hide the swell of my belly while still making me look put together. Hot as fuck, actually. The lace from my camisole lingers below, peeking out beneath the v of my dress shirt. Just enough to be suggestive without being obvious. The contrast between the bright pink suit and the rose blush lace creates an interesting visual, one thatsays I know exactly what I'm doing and I don't care what anyone thinks about it.
Deep breaths, Emilio. In through my nose, out through my mouth. The dread from earlier still sits heavy in my chest, but I push it away. That's what I'm good at. Shoving problems into boxes and dealing with them later when I have the time and energy. Right now, I need to be Emilio Ardyn, club owner extraordinaire. Not Emilio the terrified pregnant Omega who just realized his entire life is about to implode.
