Page 27 of Love Undercover
He actually smiled at that, and it nearly stopped her heart. “I’m trying to get you to relax.”
She caught her gasp before it escaped and worked to harden her expression. “What makes you think I’m not relaxed?”
His amusement grew. “Your leg hasn’t stopped bouncing since you sat down.”
She looked at the leg he indicated, and she concentrated on making it stop. She narrowed her eyes at him. “So you’re only asking about my teaching to distract me.”
He pulled back a little. “No, I actually want to know. I wasn’t sure you’d open up, but since you’re getting more anxious, I figure I might as well give it a shot.”
Her brows slammed down. “How do you know I’m gettingmoreanxious?”
His gaze didn’t waver, and again, it was like a touch along her skin.
“I can feel it.” His voice was a low rumble. Almost wistful. “I’m trying my best to make you more comfortable. I don’t want you to be afraid.”
Her breath stopped, the sense of being seen making her feel like a trapped animal for a second. Having him put it into words helped her to recognize the truth—that shewasscared. Scared of this situation, of how she’d gone against her instincts and stayed with a man who ended up putting her in this position. She was scared of what came after, of what would happen if they didn’t find Greg.
She didn’t know how long this would be her reality, how long she’d be away from her family and friends, her students. . .
Maybe she should let him distract her because it didn’t appear that anything would be changing any time soon, and her heart torqued behind her ribs like it wanted to rip in half.
“Why kindergarten?”
Apparently, he was undeterred.
She sighed. “I like the noise and the chaos, the challenge of making things fun and interesting. Kids have this amazing way of seeing the world with fresh eyes, and I like that fresh view to be as positive as possible.”
He tilted his head. “Is that your favorite part?”
She drummed her fingers along the closed book in her lap. “No.”
A soft smile tugged at his mouth in response to hers. “What is?”
“You know those really tough kids you see on TV or that others talk about? The ones that just drive people crazy?”
He squinted at her.
“What?” She laughed, the sound oddly nervous, though she couldn’t figure out why there were flutters in her stomach.
A little bit of color crept into his cheeks. “I might’ve been one of those kids.”
She sat back a little. “I should’ve known. I was too, though probably for different reasons.”
“What reasons?” There was a bit of a playful challenge in his tone. “You weren’t willful and defiant?”
She suppressed her grin. “I have always been walking chaos. I was a talker, distractible,distracting. . .”
“Distracting is definitely the word for it,” he murmured, and she froze. Even looking at his expression didn’t tell her if he meant it positively or negatively. “So teaching five-year-olds is the perfect place for chaos?”
It wasn’t a conscious decision to rein herself in, but she saw it like she was watching a movie, imagining herself wrapping ablanket around her body and tugging it tight. Holding all those bits in and protecting herself with her own warmth and comfort.
“Controlled chaos,” she amended. “There is a method to my madness.”
“And what’s that?”
Was he really interested in this? Or was it what she suspected—a simple distraction, or diversion to get her to let her guard down? Either way, it was an opportunity. Because two could play that game. She could convince him she trusted him, makehimrelax his guard and make her escape.
So she told him about it all, not even feigning the joy in her voice, the passion she felt welling up inside her about the ways she got creative to pull in even the most difficult kids, who were truly her favorite to teach because they needed more of her love and attention.
