Page 93 of Love Undercover
“Sadie, I don’t think I can do this.” It was just a whisper.
Her heart plummeted, and she stiffened. “Oh.”
Of course, he couldn’t. Maybe the shift she’d felt had been only one-sided. That made sense. Things had changed for her because of what they’d shared and her heart had made a leap alone.
His arms tightened around her when she tried to pull away. “That’s not what I meant.”
Confusion swirled through her. This time, he let her pull back a little so that she could analyze his face.
He shut his eyes briefly, cutting off her access to whatever might have shown in his gaze. He was a hard read, but maybe, just maybe, he would’ve let her see this time.
“I can’t bring you in on this, put you in this position. I’m afraid of what might happen.” He took a breath and opened his eyes, laying bare the emotions that raged within him. “I’m afraid I’m going to lose you.”
Her heart squeezed, almost painful, at his words. Hope stirred at the thought that he might reciprocate her feelings. Her mind grappled to stay with the conversation, though—what his words told her, not what she hoped he meant behind them.
She traced her finger along the seam of the collar of his shirt. “What would happen if we don’t do it?” She looked up in time to catch his brows coming together over his eyes.
“What do you mean?” he asked, wary.
“What would happen to me if wedon’tdo this.”
He drew back a little. “Sadie.”
The intensity of the situation was like a fire in her chest. “Chase, you tell me if I can go home right now and be safe.”
His chest heaved with the force of his breathing. The recognition of what she was getting at was clear in his eyes as his lips pressed into a line.
“And if I’m not safe to go home now, what’s left for me?” Her voice hitched as that came crashing in with full force. Some part of her had known this truth—that shecouldn’tgo home until this was done. But she hadn’t considered the ramifications and how final they would be.
Would she see her family again? Her brother, her sister, her dad? Her students?
“And what’s left for you?” she asked, even as the tears filled her eyes. “You’re locked into protecting me, and for how long?” She didn’t add that eventually he might grow tired of her, of running to keep her safe, and then where would she be?
What kind of life was that for either of them, anyway?
His thumbs brushed the tears that rolled down her cheeks, and his expression softened. “I’d run forever, protect you for however long it takes,” he murmured.
She shook her head because there was no way it was true. He’d hate her one day, when they were both tired and worn down. Because protecting her would take him away from the life he’d built, even if he was tired of undercover work. And maybe she would resent him too, even if it wasn’t his fault. She’d never see her students again, probably never be able to teach, and she didn’t know how to exist without that part of herself.
She met his gaze, even as her eyes swam with more tears. “You know what the answer is, Chase.” The words came out a whisper, all sound choked out by her emotions.
The stubborn set of his jaw showed how badly he wanted to argue with her, but he said nothing. Because he did know. There was no denying the truth of the situation.
“I trust you.” She pressed her lips to his. “I know you can make this work, that you can keep me safe. You already have, and I can’t thank you enough for everything.” She kissed him again, trying to convey the depth of her gratitude, to dispel the extent of her fear.
“I’d do it a thousand times over,” he breathed between kisses, sliding his hand behind her head to cradle it gently. His other hand went to her back, pressing her body against his.
He hadn’t admitted it yet, but he hadn’t denied the truth of her words either. Which meant that they needed to plan.
But maybe not just yet. Because there was a desperation that buzzed between them, an electric current that sizzled, that made their touch a frenzy that drove her to push him to his back and climb on top of him.
His hands traveled under her shirt to the skin of her back and up, unhooking her bra, and she sat up for him to yank her shirt over her head and toss it away. The bra straps slid down her arms, and she slung that across the room as well.
When she removed his shirt, she ran her fingers over the ripple of his ridiculously chiseled abdomen to the button on his jeans as his mouth devoured the skin along her throat and shoulder, sucking and nipping along her flesh as every inch of her cried out for more, faster, now—before the entire world came crashing down around them.
The need was so strong inside of her she couldn’t stop panting like a wild animal as he flipped her onto her back, his hands grabbing and pulling at her. Her own fingers speared into his hair, gripping as he feasted on her flesh, sending zing after zing through her.
He slowly pulled the rest of her clothes from her body, standing to remove his own, then climbed back onto the bed, prowling like a jungle cat, his eyes so dark and molten that she felt more heat building inside of her. He brushed his lips along the inner part of her leg, then up her thigh, placing strategic nips along her skin that made her buck against him.
