Page 43 of The Secret Job: Into the Depths of Depravity
I laugh at his logic. “Ok, I agree,” I say to pacify James, but he is right. I need to snap out of it, take the job and just do the bloody job. I am done listening to the thoughts rolling around in my brain. So, I change the subject and move onto something I’d much prefer to spend my energy thinking about. “What shall we do with Matty when I get back?”
“I was thinking a city break. Have some fun, go to some bars, get some room service. I don’t know. Just relax and have some good times together.”
“That sounds perfect, I’d really love a city break.”
“That’s settled then. I’ll float the idea with Matty and hopefully he can make it when we find out the dates of this job.”
“Forget the million dollars, I will have the weekend away with the two of you as my biggest reward,” I chirp happily, and we grin at each other. Clearly, we’re on the same page, it’s just a weird turn of events that I didn’t see in my future, but here we are and I’m damn happy about it. Life is wild.
Sunday evening turns into Monday, and I spend the morning shift with Sophie not breathing a word about the secret job I’ve been offered. It feels wrong. She’s got my back 100% and now I just feel like I’m letting her down. It’s an awful feeling, one I’m not proud of when I make my excuses to not join her for lunch today. This secret job is making me act in a way I’m not proud of, I hate half-truths and withholding information. It’s making me feel wretched. What am I becoming for money and a thrill?
I knock on Sandy’s office door and she opens the door expectantly.
“Hi Sandy,” I say.
“Hi Roxy, I take it you have an answer for me?” she asksdirectly, there is no beating around the bush here I see. “Come in, take a seat.”
“Thank you, yes I do.” I walk inside and take the end of the sofa opposite her like usual. “I’m going to take the job,” I say in a rush.
If Sandy is surprised, she doesn’t show it. She only nods her head and replies, “Very well. In that case, I have all the details here ready for you.”
I almost feel like I’ve disappointed her, the feeling doesn’t sit well in my stomach. Am I making a big mistake?
“The five days and nights starts next Monday. You will be taken to the location on Monday morning and dropped back home on Saturday morning. Frank will take you and pick you up. He also won’t be far, just so you know and will be on call to pick you up at any point.”
“Thank you, I think that will all work and give me time to make some pre-arrangements for the kids.”
“There has been a request that you are given a mild sedative to get you to the location in complete secrecy. Is this a concern for you?”
“A sedative? I don’t think I’ve even taken one before. How long will I be out for?”
“I’ve been assured just long enough for the journey.”
“Ok, well, I guess that will be fine, if that’s what they’d like?”
“Do you have any questions for me?”
“You mentioned it’s an owner and his two sons? Will there be anyone else?”
“Yes, quite possibly. The owner has mentioned there might be a few of the other owners and members at one point but didn’t elaborate.”
“Ok and you mentioned a livestream, how many will be watching me?”
“I have been assured the livestream is only for the owner and his two sons. No one else.”
“Fine. Is there anything else you can tell me about the men or the job?”
“Unfortunately I cannot,” replies Sandy, sounding apologetic. “But I will say this, you use your safe word the minute you need to Roxy. Promise me you’ll do that?”
“I promise,” I answer in a small voice.
“Take care of yourself. I’m sure it’ll be like any other job you’ve had before,” she replies although her optimism falls flat along with the tone of her voice. She doesn’t believe those words and neither do I. She knows something but she’s not allowed to let on. I’m a big girl, I’ve made my decision, I need to go through with it. Sedative is a bit left field considering I’m always blindfolded and that has always been sufficient enough. But it’s their job and fantasy, who I am to object.
“My advice, Roxy, would be to study the jobs on the Red job board and prepare yourself mentally for what is about to come. I'm not going to lie, these kinks have innate risks both physically and mentally. But the jobs must meet our requirements for the Red list including doing everything possible to avoid permanent harm and all involved will abide by the Clarendon rules at all times. As long as you know that it will be nothing like the charity job, that will help you prepare for it. Everything will be unexpected and more extreme. When you get back, I want you to book in and see our well-being staff.”
“Can I tell Sophie when I get back?” I ask, knowing I will be dying to speak to her upon my return. It’s one thing to keep this part of my life a secret, but I need the support of my friend and confidant. I hate keeping this a secret from her, it feels totally wrong.
“Yes, I think that’ll be fine and good for you.”
