Page 70 of An Accidental Bride for the Duke
“No, we are not. This is why…” He shook his head to himself, body shaking. “It doesn’t matter. I suppose that nothing does.” And then, without looking at her, Philip climbed from the bed.
“Philip!” she scrambled after him but stayed on the edge of the bed. “Where are you going?”
“Oh, do you not know already?” he shot back. “You seem to know everything else.”
She reared back in shame. “I am sorry, Philip. I really am.”
He had one blanket wrapped around his waist as he strode for the door. He reached it, opened it up, and then stopped. Head bowed, he did not turn back to look at her. “I know you are, Iris. But it makes little difference to me.” And with that, he walked from the room.
Iris stared blankly at the closed door. Still on the edge of the bed, still with the sheets pulled to cover her naked body.
She thought to chase after him. To try and explain herself better.Explain what? There is nothing else to tell. I did as I told him and his reaction, sadly, is just what I expected.
It hurt her to consider. Worse than that, it brutalized her, broke her down so that she wanted to crawl into a ball and cry. Finally, her marriage was finding its footing and had reached a good place. Finally, the duke was willing to admit that he felt for her was she did for him. Finally, she had a real chance at happiness.
She had ruined everything. And to drive the knife in that little bit deeper, it was all her fault.
Philip paused outside the closed door as he fought back his anger. No, it wasn’t anger.It is betrayal that surges through me.
He turned and looked at the closed door and as he did he pictured Iris on the other side. In bed, no doubt in tears as she struggled to reckon with how he had reacted. Was she confused? Was she upset? Was she angry…
Philip did not know why she should be that. In this singular instance, he felt justified because for once he was not the one who had made the mistake. For once, he had done everything that he could to make this marriage work and Iris was the one who had ruined everything.
Even still, Philip found himself hesitating. He imagined Iris sitting on that bed, tears streaming down her face, and he wanted to go to her. He wanted to pull her into his arms if for no other reason than to stop her hurting. Wasn’t that what this marriage was about? His need to protect her?
And now, when she needed it most, where was he?Doing as I always do…
His mind fought his body as he reached for the door handle… but he stopped himself from going inside. Philip knew that if he did,despite wanting to do the right thing, that would surely not be the outcome.
Thus, he released the handle, turned, and stormed down the hallway.
Still, he could not believe what she had done. And after he had made it so clear how he felt about her prying into his personal life. The strange thing about it all was that Philip wasn’t even that upset that she knew his secret. He wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed as he thought he might be. Rather, the reason he grew to anger was because he could not escape how betrayed he was feeling.
Philip had never wanted to marry. After what his mother had done to his father, he had spurned the concept, not able to see it for the good that people said it brought, only able to focus on the pain that he had witnessed firsthand. Some might have yearned for a happy ending, but Philip had never been of that mind.
But Iris… she had almost made him believe. It had been hard. It had been a constant struggle. But with her, he had let down his walls, allowed her in, and started to wonder if perhaps in this instance things might be different. Now, he knew better.
Would he forgive her one day? Likely, he would. She had not done it on purpose. She had not meant to hurt him. But then again, his mother had not meant to hurt his father. She still did, and that had killed him.
It was a shame, and Philip lamented what this would mean for Iris and him. Could they come back from such a thing? Did he want to—was it worth the risk? Or was this the final nail in their coffin, the sign that was needed to tell him what he always knew: That she and he could never work.
And to make matters even worse still, it happened just when Philip was starting to care for Iris like he had never known he could. Dammit, he might have even been willing to say that he was falling in love with her. He supposed now that he would never know for sure.
This marriage, for how well it had gone, was in his mind, officially over.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Iris spent the early hours of the morning wondering if she should attend breakfast. If Philip was there, she worried about how awkward it would be. What might be said… What might be shouted. Having not seen Philip since he left her the previous evening, Iris was able to embody a sense of hope that maybe things wouldn’t be so bad, and all Philip needed was a night to cool off.
But if I see him and he confirms with action that he is still furious with me, that he is not willing to forgive what I did, that will be it. An acknowledgment that this marriage is over…
At the same time, she could not hide from Philip all day. Despite everything, she would need to see him. And when she did, no matter what happened or what he said, she would apologize profusely and hope that was enough.
So it was that Iris readied herself quickly and made her way to the breakfast room, bracing for the confrontation that was to come.
“Good morning!” Percy sat at the table, and his smile was bright and warm upon seeing Iris enter the room. “How goes it, sleepy head?”
“Oh…” Iris blinked as she looked about the room, seeing immediately that Philip was not there. “Good morning, Percy. I am well.”
